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Posted by on Sunday, June 30, 2013 at 3:23pm.

My corrections (please check grammar...etc):

As I reflected back I realized that my friends got better grades than me.

...better grades than me... What is wrong with this?

...seek for help... What is wrong with this?

... it instead learns... What is wrong with this?

Literally, it does not learn... --> It does not learn literally...

The hare never fails which means it never learns. Yet when it fails... (Do you see the contradiction here?)
Oops!!!!!

Not only failure is...--> This is not parallel to "it allows..." , right?

key ingredient- failure A dash should be used,correct?

...deeper in to learning. What is wrong?

  • Writing - , Sunday, June 30, 2013 at 6:05pm

    As I reflected back<~~"back" is repetitive; the word "reflect" means to look back, so delete "back;" also you need to add a comma after "reflected" I realized that my friends got better grades than I did. (Otherwise, you're trying to compare yourself to someone's grades! That's a comparison that will never make sense!!)

    ...seek for help... What is wrong with this?
    Get rid of the word "for" -- it's not needed with the word "seek."

    ... it instead learns... What is wrong with this?
    It's poor word order to stick any type of introductory word between a subject and its verb; better is this: "Instead, it learns ... "

    Literally, it does not learn... --> It does not learn literally...
    No ... just delete "Literally" -- that's a word that is currently used by teens and young college students far too much and usually incorrectly. Just delete it. It's not needed.

    The hare never fails which means it never learns. Yet when it fails... (Do you see the contradiction here?)
    Oops!!!!! =)

    Not only failure is...--> This is not parallel to "it allows..." , right? Right ... and word order, too: "is" and "failure" need to be reversed.

    key ingredient- failure A dash should be used,correct? correct

    ...deeper in to learning. What is wrong? You need the word "into" -- not spelled "in to."

  • Writing - , Monday, July 1, 2013 at 1:18am

    Thank you very much, tutor! :)

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