This is the SAT essay practice. I wrote this in 25 minutes. Please give me feedback and make corrections. Grade me based on a scale of 1-6 ( 1 being poor and 6 being superior).

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
- Robert Francis Kennedy

Assignment: What is your view on the idea that great success requires substantial risk? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading,studies, experience,or observations.

Essay:
I agree with Robert Kennedy that "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly". A person acquires genuine success through substantial risk. This idea appears in many forms. From education to business and even to life. Success is one thing, but the authentic success is when someone dares to challenge themselves and take risks.
Students who take risk by taking advance classes are prone to achieve greatly. They risk lowering their grade point average, but in the long-term there will be success in college. They are well prepared through their risk that they take. The greater the risk, the greater the success. It is essential to keep in mind that not all risks will guarantee success. Furthermore, risks can lead to great failure, which can lead to great success.
I learned that the urge of wanting to be successful triggers a person to take risks. A friend of mine has a dad who was an immigrant. He escaped by boat, and along it were dead people floating. He encountered also pirates who would steal from people and kill them. There were thieves around his area and gunshots everywhere. Soon he ended up in America and made a good living. Through great risks he achieved great success.
Risk taking is not an easy thing to do, and success is not an easy thing to achieve. Moreover, real success follows with great risk and failure.

First of all, I see one too-long paragraph. If you have written in multiple paragraphs, you'll need to indicate that on this website by hitting the Enter key TWICE at the end of each paragraph.

Overall, I'd give this a 3, and here's why:

~ too many generalities; not enough detail
~ sentence fragment (at least one, maybe more)
~ basic grammar issues (pronoun-antecedent agreement, for one)

Overall, your essay is well-structured and effectively conveys your point of view that great success requires substantial risk. You provide solid reasoning and include a personal anecdote to support your argument. However, there are a few areas that could be improved to make your essay stronger.

First, consider expanding on your ideas in the body paragraphs. While you briefly mention the example of students taking advanced classes, you could provide more specific details to strengthen your argument. This could include discussing how challenging oneself academically can lead to greater opportunities in college and beyond. Additionally, you might consider exploring other examples of risk-taking in fields such as business or sports, which could further emphasize your point.

Second, be sure to address the counterargument or opposing viewpoint. This will strengthen your essay by acknowledging differing perspectives and showing that you have considered multiple sides of the issue. For example, you could discuss the potential drawbacks of taking risks, such as the possibility of failure or negative consequences.

Finally, consider revising the conclusion to provide a more impactful ending. You could restate your main point and briefly summarize your supporting evidence, while also leaving the reader with a thought-provoking statement or final reflection.

As for grading, based on the information provided, I would rate your essay a 4 out of 6. While your essay effectively conveys your point of view and provides some support, there is room for improvement in developing your ideas and addressing counterarguments.

To further improve your essay, I recommend revising your body paragraphs to provide more detailed examples and incorporating a discussion of potential counterarguments. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive. Additionally, consider revising your conclusion to provide a more impactful ending that leaves a lasting impression on the reader.