February 21, 2017

Homework Help: Writing

Posted by Blaze on Tuesday, April 9, 2013 at 9:06am.

for this profile story i'm doing one of my sentences was

Originally from central Indiana, Gilbert did not grow up in a diverse neighborhood, nor did she attend a diverse school system.
My teacher told me to elaborate on when I say diverse..

Is this better?
Growing up in central Indiana, Gilbert was not exposed too much diversity. She lived in a predominately white middle class neighborhood, and attended a white middle class school system.
How could I fix it?

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