posted by BL on .
The assignment is to write a CAUSE paper on an addiction. There is to be three topic sentences with support, a thesis, an introduction and a conclusion. I obviously have left of my sources, and need to insert them. I would really appreciate some feedback and some help especially with the conclusion.
“I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator to my apartment, no use overdoing this exercise junk.” (Janet Evonovich) This is how the typical American thinks as it relates to exercise, however there are those that train through illness and injury, and miss other obligations to exercise, stick to an inflexible exercise regime and prefer to train alone. These are some of the signs that there may be an exercise addiction problem. The addicted exerciser believes that nothing is more vital than exercise. Exercise addiction is a newly recognized condition which is characterized by a compulsion to exercise excessively even when the consequences are harmful (Griffiths, 1997; Hosenblas and Downs, 2002; Loumadis and Wells, 1998). While a severe problem, exercise addiction merely affects about 1% of the whole populace. Concerning is that the proportion appears to be ascending (). Exercise addiction is identified by the four steps of any addiction: tolerance, craving, dependence, and finally withdrawal (). There are three prominent types of problems that induce exercise addiction, physical, societal and psychological.
Most health care professionals believe that exercise addiction lies within our physical make-up. Endorphins are often implicated in the euphoria known as “runners high), the relaxed state sometimes experienced during or after exercise (Pierce, et al., 1993). Some may become addicted to the high. Much like a heroin addict, the exercise addict must now seek out the next high. With high endorphin levels, we feel less pain and fewer negative effects of stress. The release of endorphins that is triggered by exercise and produces a feeling of euphoria is enough to cause addiction. The cycle of working out, increasing how frequent the workouts need to be in order to get the same effects which once were gained from a “normal workout, increasing how long and how intense the workouts are begins.
In addition to our physical composition, another reason for exercise addiction is the alarming function society has on us. Unlike drugs or some other addictions, exercise is not only socially acceptable, it is encouraged. Life has many stressors; exercise is used as a coping mechanism, i.e., exercise addicts deal with stress through exercise. Not surprisingly, commonly exercise addiction is linked to eating disorders, this is due to the fact that eating disorders are centered on a person’s body image, not unlike exercise addiction. An addicted exercise with low self esteem can find gratification in the physical gains made through training and simply cannot determine when enough is enough. Inability to handle peer pressure, and the need for the perfect body are traits exhibited by exercise addicts. Teenage girls are most at risk for exercise addiction. Studies (what studies) show that young women perceive themselves as ten pounds heavier than reality. These women tend to be particularly affected by the proliferation of thin, beautiful, and athletic women featured in advertisements for beauty products, clothes, movies and TV. Female models are often depicted as smaller than average. Young impressionable women tend to be affected negatively in terms of self image. Today young men are also being affected by the bombardment of the media which puts them at risk too for exercise addiction.
While physical structure, and societal influence are significant causes for exercise addiction, perhaps the largest factors that lead to exercise addiction are psychologically based. A central function of exercise addiction is the sense of control over mood, the body and the environment that exercise provides. Exercise is one of the few things that people are able to control for themselves. Soon what they initially sought to control, soon controls them. Ironically, the attempt to exert control eventually leads to a loss of control over the ability to balance the activity with other priorities in life. The need for exercise is overvalued. Other time commitments, particularly connecting with people, are pushed aside to allow more time to exercise. In addition to exercise addiction being linked to eating disorders, another psychological problem that some associate with exercise addiction is obsessive/compulsive disorder (OCD). Still yet another mental disorder which exercise addiction is linked to is body dysmorphic disorder (a distorted view of the body). Compulsive exercise is one way that those with body dysmorphic disorder try to fix what they consider flaws. Also, exercise addicts may go over the top because it makes them feel powerful that they are so disciplined and have such a perfect body. They may even feel superior because others look up to them. It may be a sense of perfectionism that pressures them to have that perfect body by over exercising to the extreme.
Exercise addiction is a result of one’s physical framework, societal influence and psychological issues. The idea of exercise addiction has existed since the 70’s. The connection between endorphins and exercise addiction has been confirmed, the positive reinforcement addicts receive coupled by the need for achievement, control and approval are all believed to be associated with exercise addiction. The existence of such a condition must be assessed , then a treatment plan must be devised. Early treatment and understanding of such a condition will…..
When you post essays here, you need to hit that Enter key TWICE between paragraphs. Otherwise, it's nearly impossible to tell where one ends and the next begins.
Here are my comments about the first part (unclear if it's a complete paragraph or not):
“I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator to my apartment, no use overdoing this exercise junk.” (Janet Evonovich) This is how the typical American "typical" means what? What proof do you have for this opinion? thinks as it<~~What is "it"? relates to exercise, <~~run-on here however there are those that train through illness and injury,<~~no comma needed; it's not a compound sentence and miss other obligations to exercise, stick to an inflexible exercise regime and prefer to train alone. These are some of the signs that there may be an exercise addiction problem. The addicted exerciser believes that nothing is more vital than exercise. Exercise addiction is a newly recognized condition which is characterized by a compulsion to exercise excessively even when the consequences are harmful (Griffiths, 1997; Hosenblas and Downs, 2002; Loumadis and Wells, 1998). While a severe problem, exercise addiction merely affects about 1% of the whole populace. Concerning is that the proportion appears to be ascending ()<~~That's not a complete sentence.
Go through and make sure your verb tenses are consistent -- stay in the past .. or stay in the present.
Make absolutely sure you have addressed these essay organization instructions: "There is to be three topic sentences with support, a thesis, an introduction and a conclusion." None of these are clear to me, but maybe if you indicate the beginnings and endings of paragraphs clearly, I could tell.
Read your paper backwards -- that is, read it aloud, sentence by sentence, from the end to the beginning. Better yet, have someone else read it aloud to you.
Then repost, once you have made substantial corrections.