could someone please proofread my essay and give me any feed back on any changes that needs to be made.
I am Sally Goodin, Administrative Assistant of the Human Resources Department at 1701 W. Beebecapps in Mesquite, Texas 34567. Broadworth General Hospital will be hosting a two hour seminar on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 from 10 am to 12 pm. There will be a room set up on the 3rd floor, 5th room on 2 North. There will be 20 office supervisors attending this seminar. I am requesting a trainer to teach the seminar on that date. The trainer needs to cover Sexual Harassment and Unlawful Discrimination in the workplace. The company will supply all reading material, a video, and anything else needed.
Our company has contracted all training through your nationally acclaimed consulting services for the past 20 years. I would like to thank you for the company's continuous support throughout the years. During the seminar, there will be a 15 minute break with light refreshments provided for everyone.
Hello,
I am name ...title
Institutes name...will be hosting ...a seminar on... at address ...on date... at time, in the... building, floor , room. For which we are requesting an instructor. The seminar will be attended by...
Our company (not "the company") will provide video, etc...
~~Good otherwise~~
BUT,
15 minutes is way to short a break, you want your audience refreshed and relaxed, not running for their seats. 40 minutes, minimum! Get out of your seat, get in line at the toilets, use, wash, go to the refreshments, (which need to be really tasty) Sparkling Cider is always a nice touch.... eat and drink in a relaxed way, ...not wondering how you will balance it on your lap. Respect is the lesson of the day... give some.