You’ve applied for a specific job in your field of study. The Human Resources Department arranges an interview and tells you to bring with you a polished piece of writing for them to evaluate your writing skills. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you applied. Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why. In addition, you want to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience. Take time to think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and formal business writing.

Directions:

1. The paragraph must describe one particular experience you’ve had that inspired you or guided you to choose the type of position for which you applied.

2. Your audience is your potential employer and your purpose is to show you have thought carefully about what and/or who has motivated you toward this career choice and why.

3. In addition, you want to convey your enthusiasm for this position as it relates to your inspiring experience.

4. Take time to think about what your audience wants to know and strive to reach a balance between informal and formal business writing</b<.

PLEASE EDIT!

I choose to be a “Medical Transcriptionist” to utilized my skills in writing, spelling, grammar and punctuation. My passion for medical transcription arose because of my love for research and thirst for knowledge. I have been curious about new diagnoses, new medications, new technologies, and new treatment options. Being a transcriptionist, you learn new and challenging problems people face on a day-to-day basis. As you learn and understand these things, it’s easier to know your own bodies need. My father, Oh how I loved my father, he was the greatest man I have ever know. He past away seven years ago from a stroke. If I had know the symptoms, I probable could have saved him. I felt helpless after the fact. “Why didn’t I know”. I saw the signs he was having, but didn’t know. How can you help someone If you don’t know or understand what is happing to them. His stroke was on Thanksgiving Day, I will never forget. For this heart breaking day, it gives me great pleasure to be able to work within the medical field. I want to understand why and how the signs we see in people can contribute to what can be done to prevent them. I know I have the determination to work hard, the compassion needed while assisting patients, and the ability to work well under pressure and in a team-oriented environment.

Please do these things and then re-post when you've made corrections ~

1. Get rid of all instances of "you" and any of its forms. Rephrase these sentences.

2. Read each sentence in reverse order (from the last sentence to the first). Fix any problems you discover.

3. Think about the correct uses for quotation marks and capital letters. Make any corrections you see the need for.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/quotation.htm
and
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/capitals.htm

I apologize for any confusion, but it seems like you have pasted an existing paragraph rather than requesting an edit. Nevertheless, I can provide some guidance on how to improve the paragraph to better meet the given directions.

To create a polished piece of writing that effectively conveys your motivation and enthusiasm for the position, follow these steps:

1. Start with a strong opening sentence. Instead of simply stating that you choose to be a Medical Transcriptionist, consider providing a brief anecdote or personal experience that sparked your interest in this field. This will engage your potential employer right from the beginning.

2. Clearly articulate what motivated you to choose this specific career path. Focus on a specific experience or person that inspired you and explain how it influenced your decision. It could be a personal story, an encounter with a medical professional, or any other relevant experience that made you realize your passion for medical transcription.

3. Connect your enthusiasm for the position to your inspiring experience. Explain how your passion for research and thirst for knowledge led you to pursue this career, highlighting how being a transcriptionist provides opportunities to continuously learn and encounter new medical information.

4. Strike a balance between formal and informal business writing. While you want to convey your genuine enthusiasm, it's important to maintain a professional tone. Avoid colloquial language or overly personal statements, and make sure to proofread for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors.

Here's an example of an edited paragraph that incorporates these recommendations:

"I have always had a deep love for language and a fascination with the medical field. However, it was a personal experience that solidified my decision to become a Medical Transcriptionist. I vividly remember the day when my father, who was the greatest man I've ever known, passed away from a stroke. In hindsight, if I had known the symptoms, I may have been able to save him. That feeling of helplessness motivated me to gain a profound understanding of medical conditions and how they manifest in the human body. It is for this reason that I find immense joy in working within the medical field as a transcriptionist. It allows me to contribute to the prevention and early detection of medical issues, ensuring that no one else experiences the same heartbreak I did. With a combination of hard work, compassion, and a knack for working well under pressure, I am confident in my ability to make a meaningful contribution as a Medical Transcriptionist."

Remember to adjust the paragraph to reflect your personal experiences and motivations.