Please check my English essay to see if it's good. I need help with my conclusion.
There are similarities and differences of the activities that take place in both urban and rural setting. The activities that take place in both rural and urban setting of these two pieces. These two pieces are the Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z and War Party by Lous L' Amoure.
Both of the characters in both pieces never quit. In War Party, Ma never gives up on finding a new home. She wanted to keep going. There were some conflicts on the way but she and her family survived and finally found a new home. One of the conflicts were when Bud and his family were traveling west in start a new life but his father got killed by an Indian attack and they were confronted by Indians and Ma saved the day by speaking their language. In the Empire State of Mind, Jay-Z sang in the song that how you should never give up on your dreams and work hard. "New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of there's nothin' you can't do." "Came here for school, graduated to the high life."
One of the writing pieces are rural and the other urban. In the Empire State of Mind, Jay-Z describes an urban area, which is New York City. He's describing the places in New York City, "Yea I'm out that Brooklyn, now I'm down in TriBeca right next to Deniro, but I'll be hood forever". It can affect a character by the way dress, act, and treat others. In the War Party, Ma and her family were traveling in the west. When traveling in a rural area it's takes a long time but zero traffic.
These are the similarities and differences of the activities that take place in both urban and rural setting.
***Sorry I re-post it, it's because while your're reading your going to be loss in the paragraphs so I space them***
There are similarities and differences between the activities that take place in both urban and rural settings. These two pieces are the "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and "War Party" by Lous L' Amoure.
Omit the second sentence because it is incomplete and unnecessary.
In the second paragraph, change "gives" to "gave" because all of your other verbs are in the past tense.
You need to describe the differences.
Then, in your conclusion, sum up the differences and the similarities.
thanksssss
Let me be frank. Its lousy.
1. In the introduction, describe in brief what you are going to to. Something like the trailer of a movie.
(Para1)In the subsequent paragraphs, point out a contrast and a related similarity.
(para 2)
(para 3)
4. Summarize in a few lines what you pointed out in the paras. End your essay with a smart sentence, which is not a cliche.
I haven't read the other author but I've read a lot of Louis L'Amour Novels. This is the 19th century, immigrants are coming with their families to settle in wagons, to Red Indian Areas, crowding the native out. Whereas the other novel appears to have a modern setting. A common thread is the unity between the immigrants, at times of adversity.
If you think, you'll be able to find other points too.
your essay needs to be revised carefully. Sorry, but I believe in being frank.
To check if your English essay is good and to help you with your conclusion, I will review the content and structure of your essay.
First, let's discuss the content of your essay. Your essay focuses on the similarities and differences of the activities that take place in urban and rural settings, using the examples of the songs "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and "War Party" by Lous L'Amoure. You mention that both songs depict characters who never give up on their goals and dreams. Additionally, you highlight the difference in settings, with Jay-Z's song describing an urban area (New York City) and "War Party" depicting a rural setting in the west.
In terms of structure, your essay has three paragraphs. It's important to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that relate to the topic.
Now, let's work on your conclusion. A conclusion should summarize the main points of your essay and provide a closing statement. Here's an example of how you can revise your conclusion:
In conclusion, the songs "Empire State of Mind" and "War Party" shed light on the similarities and differences between urban and rural activities. Both songs emphasize the importance of perseverance and not giving up on one's dreams. Jay-Z's depiction of New York City in "Empire State of Mind" showcases the vibrancy and diversity of an urban setting, while "War Party" portrays the challenges and adventures of a rural journey. Through these songs, we see that regardless of the setting, determination and hard work are necessary to achieve success and overcome obstacles.
Remember, the conclusion is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression on the reader. So make sure it is concise, impactful, and ties back to the main theme of your essay.
Overall, I suggest reviewing your essay for coherence, grammar, and punctuation errors. You can also consider expanding on your ideas and providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.