posted by Sanya .
Assignment: Is there such a thing as success without sacrifice? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
Essay: It is very difficult to have success without sacrifice due to the fact that success does not always come easy without any sort of loss. One example is of how the main character in Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, must make a choice where in order to be a success and looked upon, he must sacrifice his family, home, and job. Another example that illustrate this idea is how my brother had to sacrifice his prom so that he could compete at the nationals debate tournament.
In the novel, Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, the main character Montague, who is not a conformist in society and does not accept societies ways of burning books and libraries, must sacrifice his wife, beautiful home, and job as firefighter to go live off with others who think like him. These people who live together in a solitary area, pass down the hundreds of stories orally, since there is no longer any tangible copy. These people go down in history as those who succeeded in not giving into society and society's pressures, but stood their ground and did not get weakened. The sacrifice of wife, home, and job, was necessary in order to attain success of leaving society.
Another prime example that portrays the idea that sacrifice is needed for success is how my brother made the decision to sacrifice prom, to go compete in the nationals tournament for debate. As a senior in high school skipping prom is probably heart-wrenching and an extremely tough decision to make. However, he chose to do so, and reasoned saying that the nationals debate tournament, a playing field where he could shine, was of more importance and values than attending a one night dance and party. He realized that in order to be successful, a little sacrifice for things or events that are not important; is beneficial. He understood that competing in nationals would look terrific for college and that sacrificing prom was nothing compared to that.
All in all, in order to gain success it seems impossible for their to be no sacrifice behind it. Success without sacrifice, any sort of sacrifice is simply a term that has not been heard of, nor been done. The example of Montague sacrificing his wife, home, and job, in order to rise up from society rather than succumb and my brothers difficult decision to choose nationals and forgo prom, are both strong examples that support the idea that there is no success without sacrifice.
I'd give this a 4. The topic is adequately developed, and that's fine. There are too many mechanical errors for it to be a 5, though.
The essay is out of a six, so it's still a four with the mechanical errors?