Here it is:

National Convention Speeches: The Female Voice

During the month of September 2012, both the Republicans and Democrats held their national conventions. Several political figures, entertainers and everyday people were invited to speak in favor of their respective parties; however, two individuals were able to provide the American people with insight into their husbands. President Obama and Governor Mitt Romney. Both First Lady Michelle Obama and Ann Romney provided a glimpse into their spouses' view of America. In this essay, I will critically reflect upon both speeches, and conclude by sharing my opinion on the greater implications for the future citizens of the United States.

I really felt that Ann Romney could have done a better job in her speech. She is too insincere. She is not even talking about her husband and his goals for America. She was there give an insight of her husband but in fact all she really talked about was how funny he was. She said "I do not want to talk about politics; I want to talk about love". What she is talking about is not love. She keeps going off topic.

Secondly, she said how women should not have jobs and they should be stay at home moms. In my opinion, moms should have jobs. I understand that family is important but "how" are moms are going to take care of their children. You need a job to buy them clothes to "wear", food to "eat", school supplies for "school", and pay for "college" for their children to continue having their education to have a career, etc. Plus at the same time you need to pay bills (water bill, tax, electricity bills, etc.), having one parent having a job while the other is at home is tough. Having two parents who have jobs is easier.

There's not much multi-cultural in the audience, not to be raciest but they all like her. As for the audience reception, the audiences are some-what excited but not the same (meaning that some are excited and some or most are not). Ms. Romney should of talked more about her husband, his goals for America, how he'll become a better president (she needs to persuaded people, by listening to her speech she not persuading much), and a little (equally) about her and his life. Ann Romney's overall presentation was insincere and boring.

In my opinion, I think Ms. Obama had done a wonderful job in her speech. It was great that she started her speech about her kids since family is important. Michelle talked about her husband goals a lot; one goal is to decrease student’s loans, have health care for everyone and to rebuild the economy. He also wants everyone to have the “American Dream� and for every woman to have fair pay. She humanized Obama. She also talked about her life and Obama's life; what they had been going through in their life.

The audience’s reception was outstanding! The crowd loved her speech. There was crying, laughing, and even standing ovation. Ms. Obama was so focus on the topic. Plus there were a huge multi-cultural audience. It was a beautiful night. As for her overall presentation, it was excellent! She carefully crafts her speech, understand what she is saying, spoke very well, and give eye contact to the audiences.

While Ms. Obama giving her speech, she was on topic. As for Ms. Romney she was off topic a lot. Ms. Obama did what she did, explain Obama's goals of America. The importance of her speech was how she fell in love with Obama and his goals of America. Ms. Romney barely talk about her husband. The only thing she said about him is how funny he was. All she talked about is her life and family. The audience reception was not excited and interested. While Ms. Obama was talking about Obama there were crying, laughing, and even standing ovation, amazed by her speech. Now that's a good audience reception. The audience understand what Ms. Obama and her husband been going through.

The message Ms. Obama gave about her husband's view of America is that if Obama is voted for the second term, he will complete his goals for America and make sure everyone have the "American Dream". As for a role of the President, he "should" complete these goals for America since he make a commitment. The message Ms. Romney gave about her husband's view of America is nothing. She didn't gave the message about her husband since she didn't talk about him.

I liked Ms. Obama's speech but not Ms. Romney's. What I liked about Ms. Obama's speech is when she explaining how she fell in love with Obama and his goals of America. That's the kind of president everyone wants. I think Ann Romney's speech could of done better. Like I explained before, she should of explain his goals for America and how he'll become a better president. Ann Romney's speech was insincere and boring. What surprise me on how Ms. Romney didn't talk much about her husband. I thought she was going to talk about her husband's goals of America and how she fell in love with him, but I was wrong.

In my opinion, President Obama deserve to be president for the second term. His speech he gave at the Democratic Convention was powerful, determination, bright, and creative. He just love making a difference in this country and the world. After listening to his speech and Ms. Obama's I think (just in my opinion) he's a better president for America than Governor Romney.

I did not heard a word in Ms. Romney's speech about her husband goals for America. So it's obvious that Romney have no goals for America, because there is no reason for America to vote for him. Obama have good goals for America, so if I was 18 or older then I would vote for him, because of his honestly, hard work, and his goals for America. I hope America make a good decision for their future president.

Does the last sentence sound good. I'd been having a little trouble for my conclusion paragraph.
So... how is it????

PS --- Sorry I re-post it, it was the title of this post.

This is an excellent essay, Laruen. :-)

A few minor suggestions:

Take out the quotation marks in the paragraph that starts Secondly.

"There's not much multi-cultural in the audience, not to be racist but they were all like her."

"Ms. Romney should have talked more . . ."

The ideas in your last paragraph are good, but you have several typo/spelling errors.

Thank You! :)

I'm going to go over my essay AGAIN and revise and edit it.

Thank You again for reading and checking my essay Ms. Sue! :)

I hope I get a good grade in this assignment.

PS --- What's wrong with the sentence?

There's not much multi-cultural in the audience, not to be racist but they were all like her

You're welcome.

How is my sentence different than yours?

The last sentence of your conclusion paragraph could be improved to make it sound more clear and concise. Instead of saying "I hope America make a good decision for their future president," you could say "I believe it is important for America to make a well-informed decision in choosing their future president." This revised sentence emphasizes the importance of making an informed decision while also expressing your opinion.