Homework Help: Review opening paragraph for memoir

Posted by Bryce on Wednesday, September 5, 2012 at 8:24am.

Does this work as an opening paragraph for my memoir?

You're grounded! A dad yells to his rebellious son. The son grows furious and angry, constantly wishing he could move out already and thinking about how stupid parents are, but what if one they're suddenly gone? You never realize how special someone is until you don't have them at all. When my mother passed away, I suddenly realized how much of an impact she made on my life, and how much I really need her.

Review opening paragraph for memoir - Writeacher, Wednesday, September 5, 2012 at 8:30am
What's the difference between furious and angry?

The second sentence needs to be 2 sentences. Where should you divide it?

Otherwise it seems fine.
Review opening paragraph for memoir - Bryce, Wednesday, September 5, 2012 at 8:36am
The son grows furious, constantly wishing he could move already. He keeps thinking about how stupid his parents are.

Is that a better way to put it?
Review opening paragraph for memoir - Writeacher, Wednesday, September 5, 2012 at 8:52am
Much better, yes.

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