Hello! Could someone proofread this summary for me and give me some tips? Thanks so much!
In Daniel Smith’s article, The Anxious Idiot, he discusses anxiety issues. He begins the article with an introduction to his anxiety disorder and proceeds to tell of his discovery inspired by his brother Scott, “I am now coming to understand that anyone…can lessen and even elude anxiety, so long as he heeds a simple dictum: Don’t be an idiot”. He defines an idiot as “someone who is self-defeatingly lazy” consequently stating that it’s laziness that triggers, as well as prolongs anxiety. The anxiety victim knows the ways to counter the attack, but allows the disorder to overtake the normal patterns of thought. Smith tells the reader that anxiety is a habit that’s hard to break because the same repetitious thoughts make an endless loop in the mind that gradually deepens into and becomes engraved as a way of life. He concludes that the victim of anxiety must be determined to fight back the old ways of thinking to create a new life that’s anxiety-free.
Are some parts a bit repetitive?
Summary is OK, but wow, your sentences are long. Have you ever considered writing shorter sentences, giving the reader time to absorb?
<<With a long sentence, the listener or reader may have forgotten the end by the time that the speaker or writer has reached the final few words that they are going to say or write, even though the listener or reader may be paying particular attention, whether it is late or early and whether they are tired or alert.
With short sentences, the listener gets the whole thing in one go. Easy to remember. Easy to understand. More powerful communication.
There is a natural pause after a sentence. This gives the other person space in which to consider what is said. This also adds 'thoughtfulness' to what is being said.>>
Okay Thanks so much!! That really helped
Sure! To proofread your summary and give you tips, I'll provide an analysis of the text:
In Daniel Smith’s article, "The Anxious Idiot," he discusses anxiety issues. The article begins with an introduction to his own experience with anxiety disorder and then moves on to describe his realization, inspired by his brother Scott, that anxiety can be lessened or even avoided if one follows a simple dictum: "Don't be an idiot." According to Smith, an "idiot" refers to someone who is self-defeatingly lazy, and he argues that laziness triggers and prolongs anxiety. People suffering from anxiety are aware of methods to counter the attacks, but they allow the disorder to control their thought patterns. Smith further explains that anxiety becomes a difficult habit to break because repetitive thoughts form an endless loop in the mind that gradually becomes engrained as a way of life. In conclusion, Smith emphasizes the importance of determination in combating old ways of thinking in order to create a new, anxiety-free life.
Now, to address your question about repetition, there are a few parts in the summary that can be streamlined:
- The repetition of "he discusses anxiety issues" and "anxiety disorder" in the first sentence can be consolidated into "he explores anxiety disorder."
- Instead of repeating "he begins the article" and "he proceeds to tell," you can combine these phrases as "he begins the article by introducing" or "he starts by discussing."
- Instead of saying "The anxiety victim knows the ways to counter the attack but allows the disorder to overtake the normal patterns of thought," you can rephrase it as "Although anxiety sufferers are aware of ways to counter the attacks, they often succumb to the disordered thought patterns."
By applying these modifications, the revised summary would read as follows:
"In Daniel Smith’s article, "The Anxious Idiot," he explores anxiety disorder. He begins the article by introducing his own experience and proceeds to derive an essential insight from his brother Scott: "Don't be an idiot." According to Smith, an "idiot" refers to someone who is self-defeatingly lazy, which triggers and prolongs anxiety. Although anxiety sufferers are aware of ways to counter the attacks, they often succumb to disordered thought patterns. Smith explains that anxiety becomes a challenging habit to break due to repetitive thoughts forming an endless loop in the mind that becomes engrained as a way of life. In conclusion, Smith emphasizes the importance of determination in combating old ways of thinking and creating a new, anxiety-free life."
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any further questions or need additional assistance.