Posted by Rickypa on Wednesday, August 15, 2012 at 4:45pm.
I'm in 8 th grade
First, define who you are. What are your hopes, dreams, ideals, values? What are your interests?
What influence have your parents, siblings, home, school, peers had on you?
Do I have to do it on me
I want to be a dentist I want luxuries cars car jet skis it has to be persuasive essay I like roller pasted water slides I like to go on cruise I like the Bahamas
You've expressed your dreams and hopes well. Have your surroundings influenced those dreams? How?
What do those dreams have to do with the person you are every day -- now?
I need help I don't know can you help me thing of anything made up
You're in 8th grade. You can certainly at least try to answer those questions.
Is 8th grade going to be too hard for you? Maybe you should rethink your dreams of going to college for 8 years or so.
You have to learn have friends and family that enqurage to do the best they support you
You're avoiding the questions.
How have YOUR friends, school, family helped YOU to be the person you are today?
My family helps be takes me to school picks me up buy stuff for school support me help me if I don't get homework school provides free school they help me become what I want to be friends make me feel like I'm not left out they all enqurage to do the best in all ways I can
Now, rewrite this without runon sentences. Put in appropriate capital letters and punctuation!
Can you help me do that
I need help doing that
Ms sue are you going to help
Yes, I'll HELP.
You rewrite it and then I'll help you with the parts you got wrong.
My family helps me by taking me to school,picks me up from school, buy me stuff for school. They support me and help me on my home work. The school provides free education the give me the knowledge that I need to accomplish my goals in life. My friend make me feel like I'm not left out, and they all enqurage me to do the best in all ways.
This is much better. Here is my edited version of your paragraph.
My family helps me by taking me to school and picking me up from school. They buy me stuff for school. They support me and help me on my home work. The school provides a free education. It gives me the knowledge that I need to accomplish my goals in life. My friend make me feel like I'm not left out. They all encourage me to do the best in all ways.
Now what I do this is pars auspice essay
I don't think you need to do anything for this PERSUASIVE essay. You've persuaded me that your family, friends, and school are important to you.
But the topic is your surrounding create who you are I need essay persuasive
Your surroundings are your family, friends, and school.
You could add a first paragraph explaining that you're a hard working student and your surroundings have created who you are.
Ok 6 more like that and they need 3rd person pronouns then I will do rest
Are you going to help on those 6
The third person pronouns you've used are they and it.
Can you help me do 6 more
Are you going to help me do six more of the paragraph start off
Six more what?
Do you need eight paragraphs for your essay on "your surroundings create who you are persuasive essay"?
I just need your help to start me off on each paragraph
I taught 8th grade for many years. In my opinion, seven paragraphs on this topic, using mostly third-person pronouns, isn't realistic for 8th graders. It especially isn't realistic for a student who had trouble writing one short paragraph with appropriate capitalization and punctuation.
I give up.
Ask your teacher for help.
It does not have to be third person pronouns
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