I left out the following sentences.

Thank you, Writeacher.

1)He writes to his mum about the incident.
2) He is critical of the war and turns against those who think that it is glorious and fitting to die for one's country.
3) His friend dies because he is not fast enough putting his gas mask on.
He recalls (remembers) the image of his friend chocking and drowing in the deadly mask.
4) You were supposed to write a ten-line paragraph only! Your paragraph is full of repetition and unessential details. You also failed to include the message conveyed by the poet.
5) As Jekyll has led a virtuous life his face is handsome and his hands are white and well-shaped.
6) In contrast Mr Hyde, his evil side, whose hands are dark and hairy, is described in terms of animal

1) OK

2) OK

3) His friend cannot put the gas mask on fast enough, and he dies. He recalls the image of his friend choking and drowning in the deadly gas.

4) OK

5) Because Jekyll has led a virtuous life, his face is portrayed as handsome, and his hands are white and well-shaped.

6) In contrast, Mr Hyde, his evil side, whose hands are dark and hairy, is described in terms of animal ... (unfinished??)