posted by John on .
Thank you, Writeacher. I still have a few more paragraphs to check.
1)I think that ads can be very dangerous for children because they often show children happy for a kind of product, like a toy and so they want to be like them.
2) I think that parents should pay attention and try to explain to their children about the reality and teach them that what ads show isn’t the reality.
3) Children can fall in the trap of the fabulous world of the products that advertising shows them and they have no tools to defend themselves. The use of children in ads can have the children become victims because they can’t defend themselves….
4) Now people tend to watch adverts more and more becoming, in my opinion, mindless lumps only focused on TV and other horrible entertaining things.
5)Experts say that the latest ads don’t just sell products but they also sell “lifestyles”: this didn’t happen in the past. People can be trapped by ads into buying a lot of unnecessary products.
1. Clarify the pronouns (they, them -- make sure their antecedents are clear).
2. ... about reality ... isn't reality.
3. comma needed in the first sentence
4. comma needed after second "more"
5. comma needed