Posted by Stonie on Friday, May 11, 2012 at 2:57pm.
Can you proofread my writing?
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
On February 26, a 17-year-old boy named Trayvon Martin was murdered. Why? Why? Why? Was George Zimmerman defending himself or committing a hate crime? I believe George Zimmerman committed a hate crime.
One reason I say this was a hate crime is because it was a racial issue in many ways. For example, Zimmerman claimed that the boy “appeared” to be suspicious when he saw him. Then all of a sudden, Martin supposed to have attacked Zimmerman on that day. Really, why would the boy want to attack Zimmerman? That’s a question, that can’t seem to be answered. There’s no evidence!
Another reason this was a racial issue is because of the way Martin looked. Zimmerman assumed a black boy with a hoodie on, talking on his cellphone to his girlfriend was up-to-no good. I can’t believe Zimmerman would stoop this low, to say the boy looked like a criminal.
In conclusion, Zimmerman did commit a hate crime. The dispatcher told Zimmerman, “That he didn’t need him to follow the teen,” but he didn’t listen. A pow, pow from a gun went off and the boy is now dead. Zimmerman didn’t be the better man and let the boy go to his destination. If something could have possibly happened at Martin’s girlfriend house, which would have been an issue; however, we would have needed the neighborhood watch captain, Zimmerman. I feel George Zimmerman should be convicted for the crime because I felt this was a racial issue, he needs to be charged and put behind bars.
Writing - bobpursley, Friday, May 11, 2012 at 3:58pm
Your writing is excellent propaganda style: opinions cited as true fact, gross generalizations, and inflammatory language. Hermann GÃ¶ring would be proud of you, except you didn't state "Zimmerman" is a Jewish name. But we can execute him anyway, because obviously, he thinks he is in the master race, doing all those patrols of his neighborhood.
Sometimes, we view things which we know very little of, as things with which we can make life and death judgements on the good or evil in the world, but in the end, we are foolish pawns with blood on our own hands.
Writing - Writeacher, Friday, May 11, 2012 at 4:02pm
Were you there? Did you actually see any of this? Or are you simply repeating what has been in the news?
How do you know "it was a racial issue"?
How do you know "There's no evidence"? Are you privy to what law enforcement in that town know?
What you've written doesn't seem to be anything but guessing and repeating what was in the news. Nothing is certain until it's been through the courts ... and sometimes not even then.
And what about all the murders all over the country? Why isn't someone protesting about them?
I suggest you choose a different subject.
Answer This Question
More Related Questions
- math - According to a USA Today Gallup poll, there is a racial divide on views ...
- comprehending/english - The question is What sources cited or quoted, and if so...
- History - how would you have felt if you were an american and you found the ...
- Biology - I need help creating a pedigree using this description: Lily is 28 ...
- Writing - Can you proofread my writing? Philip Malloy Have you ever met a ...
- English-A Raisin in the Sun - In the book A Raisin in the Sun, what does Walter ...
- Math - George has a goal of walking 9/2 kilometers today. Each time he walks to ...
- English-(PLEASE CHECK) - How does George show he protects Lennie when they meet ...
- Python: Named tuples - I've been trying to print a list of the book titles ...
- science(chem) - What is Zimmerman Reagent made of? (I know it is acidic b/c I ...