Posted by Matthew on .
Could you please check the following sentences? Thank you very much.
1) He gives Coketown human characteristics (not "a human aspect").
2) Coketown starts to assume human characteristics/connotations
He personifies the town.
3) He refers to his students emphatically with their number. (I know I should you “by” but is “with” a mistake?).
4) In contrast to Bitzer, Sissy …… (or in contrast with?)
The inhabitants of Coketown are presented like (not as?) people who equally look the same, do the same work (job??) without any possibility of escaping their monotonous lives.
5) Sissy is described as dark (as dark-haired and dark-eyed better?) and full of promise. In contrast, Bitzer is anaemic and colourless. He is an obvious product of the soulless education to which he has been subjected to.
6) Respectability consisted in (not “of”) a mixture of morality and hypocrisy. It implied the possession.
In Coketown prevail values like materialism and lack of sensibility.
2. I'd use "take on" rather than "assume" and I wouldn't use "connotations."
3. "with" isn't quite right; "by" is the preposition for this phrasing.
4. Either "to" or "with" is fine.
"like" is correct; I'd remove "equally" and use "job" rather than "work".
5. Keep "dark-haired and dark-eyed"
Remove "to" at the very end of the sentence.
6. ... consisted of ...
In Coketown, values like materialism and lack of sensibility prevail.
(to put the verb before the subject makes a VERY awkward sentence)