Posted by Matthew on .
Could you please check these sentences?
Thank you very much, Writeacher.
1) Your paragraphs show a good knowledge of the literary contents. As to the grammar, you are still unsure in the use of tenses and prepositions.
2) As to cohesion, you failed to write an introduction or a conclusion to your paragraphs and didn't link your ideas through sentence connectors.
3) Your paragraphs also contain a number of repetitions.
4)Friday's hair isn't curled like savages one. Possible corrections: it isn't as curled as that of the savages is. It isn't curled like that of a savage (a black man is possible?/that of savages.
5) His stronk legs make him resemble a European (also a European man?).
He also start a goat farm because he was running (correction: is running) out of gunpowder.
6) He also has/He has also a round face..(?)Then his nose (when adding a new physical trait I would have used "Furthermore/In addition) isn't flat like that of a negro but quite small.