Posted by Annie on Sunday, March 11, 2012 at 6:29pm.
Please have patience. You posted this the first time about an hour ago. We are all volunteers and answer questions when we can. Please understand that we'll try to help you, but thoroughly editing this story is time consuming.
i will wait and thanks a lot
This sentence doesn't make any sense. The verb, "lays" should be in the past tense, "lay."
Khushi lays down on her bed and thought, when his would be husband going to wish her.
The verb needs to be in the past tense.
she accepts the wedding proposal
What do you mean by "wished?
‘’Khushi, I know why are you sad because you fiancé didn’t wished you yet?”
He came to wish her on her birthday.
Use the past tense.
Shyam like blue a lot. She wears matching bangles and did makeup.
This doesn't make sense.
He came for her sister sake that is like a dead body.
Do you mean "her" husband?
because suddenly his husband wanted divorce.
Please read your story to an English-speaking friend and ask that person to tell you things that don't sound right. Also make sure that your verbs are in the past tense and that you've used the words that say what you mean.
“Happy birthday Khushi”, her family said as they came to her room at midnight.
“Thank you, mom, dad and my lovely sister”, Khushi said with a huge smile. Khushi lay down on her bed and thought, when would her husband wish her happy birthday. She had a flashback, how she got engaged with a guy of her parents’ choice and she wasn’t ready but she accepted the wedding proposal for her family’s sake. She felt sleepy so she went to sleep. In the morning at seven o’clock, Khushi went to the temple with her sister, Payal. She wanted to take blessing from God on her 24th birthday and ask for a good married life. She was not happy because her wedding was in ten days. She didn’t want to leave her family behind but then she thought every girl has to.
‘’Khushi, I know why are you sad because your fiancé didn’t wish you happy birthday yet?” Payal said laughing.
“No, I was thinking something else that you will not understand because when you get married in two or three years you will understand”, Khushi said with tears in her eyes.
Khushi and Payal arrived home and someone came to their house. It was simple and sweet Khushi’s fiancé. He came to wish her happy birthday. He asked her parents if he could take her out for lunch and her parents said yes. Khushi was not comfortable going with him but she went because she wanted to know him before marriage. She thought she was lucky because her parents weren’t like ancient Indian parents. She got ready in a blue saree because her mom told her that her fiancé, Shyam, liked blue a lot. She wore matching bangles and makeup.
“You are looking pretty today and this color looks good on you”, Shyam said. They went to the Lucknow’s very famous restaurant. They had a great lunch and they got to know each other. Khushi was happy and she thought maybe this is the one and only for me. They left the place and somebody called Shyam with different name.
“Rahul, Rahul…… Rahul”, stranger was yelling and shouting.
“Why he is calling you with a different name” Khushi said in disappointment.
“Ignore him; I don’t know who is he? Maybe he has mistaken me for someone else” Shyam said nervously.
Arnav Singh Raizada, the famous Delhi business tycoon came to Lucknow. He came for her sister’s sake (Huh – I do not understand). He had a flashback, where he and her sister were so happy and he was saying to her sister you are the only person important in my life and I can do anything for your happiness. After her sister’s husband called, her sister started crying and was shattered because suddenly her husband wanted divorce. Anjali fainted and Arnav called the doctor. The doctor congratulated him because her sister was three months pregnant and told him to keep her sister happy. His flashback ended.
“I got information about your sister’s husband, sir that he is getting married in five days” the detective replied.
“How dare he?”
“To who?” Arnav said in anger. His detective gave the information about the girl, her family and where they live. He got the address of his brother in law too. He went to his brother in law’s house and tried to convince him in a manner and he even begged for her sister’s happiness but he said no because he said to Arnav that he found someone better than her sister and I will never leave her . Arnav left from there.
“I will ruin that girls life”, Arnav said in anger while roughly driving.
Next morning, Arnav called her sister but she didn’t give any response. She just says her husband name and nothing else.
“Anjali, please talk to me”, Arnav said while crying.
“Rahul, Rahul, Rahul, Rahul….” Anjali was saying and then she disconnected the phone. Arnav was sad because he did not want to lose his sister as his parents died. In anger, he went to the girl’s house, who had ruined his sister’s life. He knocked the door of the house and Khushi ran to the door because her fiancé was coming for their last day out before marriage. Payal played the prank; she spilled the oil in front of the main door so she can fall on Shyam’s arm. Payal was watching Khushi running to the door and was excited for to see a little romance. Khushi opened the door and falls on Arnav arms and then she looked up and saw it was someone else. Arnav stared at Khushi for few minutes because she was looking great in a green saree. Arnav could not stop staring at her. Khushi took three steps backward and Arnav introduced himself and asked to come inside. He told the whole story of his sister and his brother in law. He request to stop the wedding but khushi’s dad didn’t believe Arnav and he threw him out. Arnav didn’t have any choice but to use his power because he was a rich man. He cleverly owns their business and their house. Khushi was getting ready for her wedding and the phone call came. She picked the phone up and was shocked to hear that Arnav Singh Raizada took over their business and their home. She went to meet him on her wedding day without telling anybody because she didn’t want to make her family sad. She arrived and warned Arnav to stop doing what he was doing.
“I will stop this if you agree to do what I will tell you to do” Arnav said with a smirk.
“I will do anything for my family’s sake” Khushi said to him while crying.
Arnav made a deal with Khushi to marry him just for six month. Khushi was shocked to hear what he just said. For Khushi marriage was a joyful new beginning but she agreed to marry him for her family’s sake. She went home with Arnav and Payal opened the door and was shocked. Arnav and Khushi were holding hands and they both were wearing the wedding garlands. Everybody was shocked even the guests.
“We got married “Khushi said while feeling embarrassed.
Khushi’s mom slapped her because she insulted her family in front of the people and she got married to someone else on her wedding day. Her family shut the door on her. She was crying and Arnav told her to stop crying. Next morning, they arrived in Delhi at the Raizada mansion. She was in pain because her family didn’t listen to her. On the other hand everybody was happy to see the new bride and they welcomed her with their family rituals. Arnav told Khushi her that they would act like happy married couple front of the family but in his room, they would be strangers. Khushi slept on the floor and Arnav didn’t care and went to sleep on his bed.
“She is recovering “, her doctor sister said
Arnav was happy and hugged her. Khushi was always thinking where was her husband? And why did Arnav tell her that he would be back. Khushi hated Arnav because of what he did to her and always was telling her sister lies. Arnav hates Khushi. Because of her his brother in law did not accept his sister. Rahul came to the Raizada mansion for his wife’s signature on the divorce paper. Anjali saw her husband and ran to hug him and she did. She was back to normal and she fainted. Rahul took her to the room because he still cared about her. The doctor came and told him that they should be careful in these days. Rahul was all confused because he did not knew his wife was pregnant. Arnav came back home from his office and went to his sister’s room as usual. He was shocked to see Rahul back. Rahul found out that his wife was pregnant and he was happy to hear this and he changed his decision and tore the divorce paper. Anjali life became happy and Arnav was happy too. Rahul apologised to his wife and Arnav for everything he did wrong and they accepted his apologies.
“Where is the remote?” Khushi said to herself. She saw Shyam and she froze when she saw him at the Raizada mansion. She thought he came to take her from here but he came to apologize for everything and he told her the truth. She was shattered and she slapped him hard. He didn’t feel bad because he knew that he did wrong. Khushi ran from there. She saw Arnav and hugged him and cried. She stepped back and thought how he told the truth to her family and to herself but they didn’t believe him and how he tried to tell her in these two months and she just insulted him. Arnav decided to divorce Khushi but he wasn’t happy about his own decision. Then he thought how he emotionally blackmailed her for marriage. He didn’t want to cause more sadness in her life. Khushi decided to be a good wife and save her marriage because she couldn’t hate a person who cares about her sister and can sacrifice his own life for her sister’s happiness. She went to tell Arnav that she wanted to start her married anew. Arnav gave her divorce papers. Khushi was shocked to see divorce papers but she didn’t say anything to him. She just signed the paper because she thought he was happy with this. Both were walking in different directions. Both were sad but didn’t know why they were so sad. As they walked farther from each other both had tears in their eyes.
“Tears! Arnav Singh Raizada. Why?” Arnav said to himself. Both thought about each other all night. Next day, Khushi took her suitcase and said bye everybody to everybody accept Arnav Singh Raizada. Anjali tried to stop her but she went because she could not face Arnav on this day. Arnav was in his home office. He was resting because he couldn’t sleep last night. Anjali came to the study and said that Khushi left the house and told him when her flight was leaving, Arnav looked at the time and there were only two hours until her flight. Arnav ran to his car and drove as fast he can without caring about the rules. Khushi met her friend on airport and talked about their life and her friend was talking about her happy married life.
“Sometimes the last person you’d want to live with is the only person you cannot live without”, Khushi said to her friend while thinking about Arnav. Her friend did not agree with her. There was a flight announcement and Khushi walked when she heard the announcement. She was sad and didn’t want to go.
“Khushi………….” Arnav shouted.
Khushi looked behind and it was Arnav and she smiled with tears in her eyes. She walked towards him and he walked towards her. They had locked eyes for a few minutes.
“You can’t leave me”, Arnav said. Khushi wanted know why. She asked her why she can’t leave him while wiping her tears.
“I can’t live without you because I...” Arnav said .
“Because you what”, Khushi said.
“I love you Mrs. Raizada”, Arnav said .
“I love you too Mr. Raizada”, Khushi said with a smile. They hugged each other and they lived happily ever after.
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