Homework Help: English

Posted by Henry2 on Monday, February 27, 2012 at 4:43pm.

Writeacher, I left out an email I need to write to a school's principal. I really need to "persuade" him to start a school exchange programme. I wonder if you could help me check it. I didn't include tje presentation of the school because you have already checked it.

Our school has about 800 students and is situated in a hilly area, about 60 kms from ......, in northern ..... Our town is world renowned for its production of red wines and white truffles etc.....

1) The principal of our school is looking for an Irish school , which is interested in a long-term cooperative project with our school. We have already established a link with both a German and a French schools, with which we will hopefully work on a two-year Comenius science project starting from year 2012-20013.
2) It would be extremely important for us, if our students could have the chance to start an email partnership followed by a student exchange programme with your students.
3) This initial partnership could lead to both students' and teachers' mobilities ( mobility: the chance to spend some time at a school abroad and have it recognized) in the near future.
4) The students involved will be high-achievers belonging to classes ten and eleven.
5) We are all looking forward to receiving a positive reply from you.
Best regards.

I think I need to be more convincing.

English - Writeacher, Monday, February 27, 2012 at 4:54pm
1) The principal of our school is looking for an Irish school, which is interested in a long-term cooperative project with our school. We have already established a link with a German and a French school, with which we will hopefully work on a two-year Comenius science project starting from academic year 2012-2013.

2) It would be extremely helpful for us, if our students had the chance to start an email partnership followed by a student exchange programme with your students.

3) This initial partnership could lead to both student- and teacher-exchanges in the near future.
(Take a look at suspended hyphens here: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/hyphen.htm )

4) The students involved will be high-achievers belonging to classes ten and eleven.

5) We are all looking forward to receiving a positive reply from you.

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