posted by Hero on .
This is a paragraph in my essay.
Please tell me if this makes any sense.
(basically I want to save money by earning a quality and cheap education so I can save money to be able to open a free clinic to help people)
By attaining education in the USA I believe that I am not only earning an internationally recognized education but also a frugal one. The decision I chose did not only make me independent but with the money I have saved in the past two years and will save further on, will aid me to one day be able to open a free dental clinic and offer free oral hygiene classes in the rural areas of Pakistan and possibly other third world countries. My parents always told me to brush my teeth at night and in the day, but it was not until high school that I actually realized why I did that every morning and night. So imagine my parents learned from their school and encouraged me but if a villager living in a shanty town does not know the importance of oral hygiene, How will his children learn? Who is there to teach them? Becoming aware of oral diseases and their cause is the most important thing that the unfortunate community requires the most and suffers the greatest. My aim is to educate these ill-fated people to help them .Protecting oral hygiene can save one from costly diseases. Oral/Dental hygiene, and in fact any kind of care is one's duty; however, if they are unaware, it is the educated people’s responsibility to guide them before their ignorance causes them harm. With the dream of my clinic I want to make change in peoples lives and oral cavities. Attending SMDEP will bring me closer to my selfless goal.
I'll go over the first few sentences. Then you need to notice the changes I make and heavily proofread the rest.
By studying in the USA, I believe that I am not only getting an internationally recognized education, but also a thrifty one. My decision to study here will help me become independent. In addition, the money I save by studying here will eventually help me realize my life's dream: to open a free dental clinic with oral hygiene classes in the rural areas of Pakistan and other countries.
My parents always told me to brush my teeth morning and night, but it was not until high school that I actually realized why I did that.