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Don’t you just wish you can have the time of your life without your parents? I know I wish I could. I would like to go out and hang out with my friends without parents such at parties with no chaperone.
First reason is I could have a better relationship with my friends. For example, me and my friends can learn more about their interests and other stuff they enjoy doing. We can do things best friends do and hang out at the mall or movies other than at school. I can spend a night at their house. Also, you can allow them to spend the night at my house.
Second reason is I could be more active and open to having more fun with my friends then at school. In addition, I can meet other people while also socializing with my friends. We can be best of friends. Also, we can learn the real way to being friends.
Can you proofread my persuasive essay?

Give Me Some Space
I know there are many concerns to me hanging out with my friends instead of my parents. It’s understandable I will have a curfew and have to abide by being on time. Another concern would be having transportation sometimes, because you (as my parents might be too tired to come out at night and come pick me up. Last concern would probably be; however, the thought of what I’m doing with my friends. I could have told you I was doing one thing and then doing another (something I wouldn’t do because I’m a dependable person).
In conclusion, I think I persuaded you to let me be free and still have fun with you (my parents and then my friends. You can know I will abide by your rules. There shouldn’t be any worries because I’m a mature teen. Also, some places I go you can come with my friend’s and their guardian. What do you think? Are you convinced?

  • Writing - ,

    Give Me Some Space
    Don’t you just wish you can have the time of your life without your parents? I know I wish I could. I would like to go out and hang out with my friends without parents such at parties with no chaperone.
    First reason is I could have a better relationship with my friends. For example, me and my friends can learn more about their interests and other stuff they enjoy doing. We can do things best friends do and hang out at the mall or movies other than at school. I can spend a night at their house. Also, you can allow them to spend the night at my house.
    Second reason is I could be more active and open to having more fun with my friends then at school. In addition, I can meet other people while also socializing with my friends. We can be best of friends. Also, we can learn the real way to being friends.
    I know there are many concerns to me hanging out with my friends instead of my parents. It’s understandable I will have a curfew and have to abide by being on time. Another concern would be having transportation sometimes, because you (as my parents might be too tired to come out at night and come pick me up. Last concern would probably be; however, the thought of what I’m doing with my friends. I could have told you I was doing one thing and then doing another (something I wouldn’t do because I’m a dependable person).
    In conclusion, I think I persuaded you to let me be free and still have fun with you (my parents and then my friends. You can know I will abide by your rules. There shouldn’t be any worries because I’m a mature teen. Also, some places I go you can come with my friend’s and their guardian. What do you think? Are you convinced?

  • Writing - ,

    Really!! Do I have to tell you how to correct this? me and my friends can learn

    at their house - all your friends live in one house?

    Please read this ALOUD to someone -- or better yet, ask someone else to read it ALOUD to you.

    Then post your revised draft.

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