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English essay

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Thesis is -Taking daughters to see their mothers in jail should be a program of its own.-
I don't know if my topic sentence are correct:

Negative affect on the amount of extra responsibility the girl scouts take on.

Girl scouts has an age limit for not all girls can participate

The social worker can focus better on just helping the girls and mothers with there relationship

Not all the girls in the troop may be mature enough to take on the jail life of their mother.

  • English essay -

    These all seem very disjointed and unrelated. What do Girl Scouts have to do with kids visiting their moms in jail?

    You need to make the connection very clear. The last thing you want is for your readers to guess at anything. They would probably stop reading if the connections among ideas are not clear.

  • English essay -

    It's about the movie troop 1500. A girl scout troop that takes girls to see their mothers in jail

  • English essay -

    Troop 1500 of Central Texas Girl Scouts is a real troop. The troop is the girls of incarcerated mothers. The purpose of the troop is to prevent the girls from going to jail eventually, as it is very probable for daughters of jailed moms to follow in their footsteps. The program is ongoing. The troop leader is a social worker dealing with the girls, and their families.

    So your thesis sentence is a program of its own. The purpose is to keep the girls from going to jail.

    I would focus on other research other then the "movie".

  • English essay -

    It's not a program of it's own. It's with the girl scouts their for only girls in girl scouts can do that nd it should be able that any child be able to participate

  • English essay -

    hey i thank that's a great idea
    (my mothers in jail :( )

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