english - What is true love
posted by Mohammad .
i writing another essay but this be about love and i have to write expository essay. i have to write does it exist? or it only based on fantasy? i have to consider cultural and natural(biological) factors.
i think true love do exist because romeo and juliet be in love and they kill eachother to be with each other. Love not just come with emotions, it come with level of understanding, respect and making responsible decisions. true love be when two people want to spend life with eachother and be able to survive all obstacles that come their way. knowing about person's personality and character are important. your true love need to be going in same direction as you or you can have problems, your goals need to be common.
please write any more ideas this be topic that everyone have opinion about.
You have an excellent start on this essay.
Add details and examples.
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thanks very much ms. sue :) after i done writing essay you please able to edit it? and i not know what to write for thesis statement. i get help from school friend who know english and he help me come up with this but how i make it better?
Love not just come with emotions, it come with level of understanding, respect and making responsible decisions.
this be thesis statement he give me.
That's a good thesis statement.
These articles might be helpful.
I hope these article will be helpful.
A LINE ON LIFE
Love with Style
What is love? Is love the same for everyone? There are many different ways of viewing love, but none of them "tell the whole story." From one perspective, sociologist John Lee (1973, 1988) described styles of love. People can use a combination of these styles. The style(s) used can change as the relationship changes. Lee categorized six basic styles.
• Eros is named after the Greek god of love, the son of Aphrodite. (The Romans called him "Cupid."). Erotic love is very sensual, tactile and immediate. Lovers are drawn towards the beauty of the partner. (However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.) They love to sense their partner through sight, sound, smell and touch. This style is suggested by couples that continually cling to each other or constantly touch. They are fascinated by every physical detail of their beloved. This style burns brightly, but it soon flickers and dies. On the other hand, it may change to another style of love.
• Mania comes from the Greek word for "madness." This style leaves lovers possessed. They have nights of sleeplessness and days filled with anxiety. It is like a roller coaster. When things are positive, manic lovers are "on top of the world." But with the slightest sign of rejection, manic lovers are "down in the dumps." Just as any act of attention leads to ecstasy, any oversight is interpreted as total rejection. Manic love is most likely to lead to possessiveness and jealousy.
• Ludus is Latin for "play." Ludic love is a game. It does not require deep emotional involvement. It is for fun and enjoyment. Encounters are casual, carefree and often careless. Ludic lovers may be concerned about "scoring" with partners or keeping a tally on how many partners they have had. "Nothing serious" is the motto of ludic lovers.
• Storge (pronounced "STOR-gay") comes from the Greek. It indicates the natural, affectionate love one might have for a friend. In Lee’s terms, it is "love without fever, tumult, or folly, a peaceful and enchanting affection." It usually starts as a friendship that slowly develops into love. If the love ends, it is gradual. However, the friendship usually remains. In contrast to the hot flames of erotic love, storge lovers share the comfortable warmth of glowing embers.
• Agape (pronounced "AH-gah-pay") is from the Greek for "brotherly love." Agapic love is charitable, selfless, patient, undemanding and chaste. Those who have it do not expect it to be returned. (Some call it "Christian" love, but a more inclusive term would be "altruistic.") Agape is best illustrated by those who anonymously help others. It is likely to be a strong component of love of parents for their children, teachers for their students or doctors for their clients. Although this love is admirable as an ideal, it is unrealistic. We all need some expression of appreciation for what we do, even if our action is selfless. To maintain agapic love, at the very least, we need some feedback that our actions have caused meaningful changes.
• Pragma is from the Greek word for "business." Pragmatic lovers take a very practical approach – they look for someone who can fulfill their needs without excessive cost to them. They make a logical search for a partner – seeking someone with compatible interests, personality, education, religion, finances, etcetera. Very much like a love accountant, the "plus" and "minus" values of a partner are the main consideration. This style may seem very unemotional and cold. However, once a partner is found, other styles of love can develop.
Once you know your current style of love, it is helpful if your partner has a compatible style. Lee has developed a questionnaire to detect your style(s) of love. It has various statements. You respond by indicating how true the statements are about your relationship. (It is too long to include in this article.)
However, I have taken Lee’s scale in relation to my wife, Marlene. My style now seems to be a combination of Storge and Eros. Over the years, I have developed a warm, comfortable feeling of a deep, enduring love toward her. However, I still have strong elements of the erotic style that typified our earlier relationship. I deeply enjoy her presence. Even with changes that have occurred over time, she is still beautiful to me. The sound of her voice – or even her slightest touch – lifts my spirits. Almost always, my experiences are brighter and better, when I can share them with her.
What is my wife’s style in our relationship? Well, if you really want to know that, I guess you’ll have to ask her.
A LINE ON LIFE
Love Triangles *
With Valentine's Day approaching, it seems appropriate to discuss love. However, there are many types of love. In 1988, psychologist Robert Sternberg developed a theory which involves different types of love, depending on whether they have one or more of three components – intimacy, passion or commitment.
Intimacy involves a feeling of closeness developed by people who mutually risk by sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings. This causes a strong feeling of trust.
Passion involves the emotional arousal that leads to romance, physical attraction and sexual interaction.
Commitment occurs when a person (at first) makes a decision to love and (later) decides to maintain the relationship that has developed.
These three components can be diagrammed in a triangular shape, with each factor indicated by the length of a side of the triangle. In some types of love only one component is evident. In that case, the other two sides are represented by dashes rather than a solid line. The size of the triangle indicates the intensity of the relationship – with a larger triangle indicating more intensity. The relative length of each side indicates the importance of each component. The varied combinations of these three factors lead to seven different kinds of love. During the span of any relationship, these types of love can change for both partners.
Intimacy, passion and commitment can combine and re-combine to give us variations of seven different types of love.
Liking – as found in some friendships – involves only intimacy, with little or no commitment or passion. Empty love – involving only commitment – is typical of estranged partners, who remain together for "the kids' sake" or social appearance. Fatuous (deceptive) love – combining aspects of passion and commitment – involves little or no intimacy. The partners do not really know each other.
In Sternberg's theory, passionate love involves intimacy and passion with very little – if any – commitment. Passionate love involves intense and sometimes confused emotions. Depending on the status of the relationship, the emotions may repeatedly swing from elation and joy to emotional pain, anxiety to relief, altruism to jealousy or tenderness to sexual passions. The loved person is the focus of your life. You are obsessed by thoughts of that person. It is hard to think about anyone – or anything – other than the loved person. The loved one is idealized – you are not aware of any faults that person might have. It is a "peak experience" making you feel much more "alive" than under normal conditions.
Some people view passionate love as identical to infatuation. However, in Sternberg's theory, infatuation involves only passion – but there is no intimacy. The exclusive preoccupation and intense feelings of passionate love are present. The loved person seems to fit the image of the perfect fantasy mate that we have developed. (Here and with passionate love, "love is blind.")
Infatuation can develop – even if you never communicate with the other person. Once contact is made, feelings can range from boundless joy (if there is any sign of mutual feeling) to the depths of depression (if the feeling is rejected or not reciprocated). However, many find it hard to distinguish between passionate love and infatuation. They often call it "love" while the relationship is ongoing, but they label it "infatuation" if the relationship has ended.
In the unstable relationship of passionate love, partners tend to fear potential rejection. This type of love is most likely to lead to jealousy – a response to a perceived threat to a relationship, which may or may not be real. Usually jealousy is caused by insecurity and low self-esteem on the part of the jealous partner.
In contrast to passionate love, companionate love – involving intimacy and commitment with minimal passion – is much less intense emotionally. The partner is usually only one point of focus in your life. In contrast of the potential "love at first sight" of passionate love, companionate love usually develops over a longer time, possibly starting just with liking. With this longer time span and the lack of exclusivity, there is more emotional trust. The relationship is stronger and more stable. Companionate love involves friendly affection and deep attachment. There is typically more reciprocal liking and respect. Jealousy is unlikely to develop.
The balanced version of love – with almost equal amounts of passion, intimacy and commitment – is called consummate love or conjugal love. This seems to be the type of love that most of us are seeking. However, even in the best relationship, the levels of these factors will vary as the relationship progresses. With aging, the passion component will tend to wane. I hope you can find – and keep – the love relationship you desire.