I urgently need you to revise these sentences. Thank you very much!
1) On my first days of holiday I read a book, tidied my room and helped my mum to make buiscuits for all our family.
2) On Christmas Eve I went to the gym to do my callisthenics practice.
Three days before Christmas my grandma went to church for the Christmas mass.
3) On Christmas Day we were six (there were six of us at my house).
4) In the morning my brothers and I opened the Christmas presents.
5) For lunch we were only six but for dinner we went to my uncles' house.
At six o'clock we watched the cartoon Cars 2 and after it (that) we had dinner. We were twenty-one
6) For our first course we ate lasagne, for our second course we had boiled meat with salad and cherry tomatoes and for desert ice-cream, two different cakes and pudding.
English - Writeacher, Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 4:59pm
1. 2 more commas needed; check spelling
2. 2 commas needed; delete "practice"
3. comma needed; use the phrasing in parentheses
4. comma needed; omit "the"
5. revise the first clause to match #3; comma needed.
6. comma and 2 semicolons needed