Posted by blaze on Thursday, January 26, 2012 at 7:04am.
Yes, I agree with you -- the second sentence.
b. A new law went into effect yesterday in Maine. The law affects all businesses that have more
than 25 employees. The law requires employers to hire one physically challenged worker for
every 25 employees. Under the law, employers must post advertisements seeking individuals
with physical challenges as defined under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
can you help me with this one too.. would the focus be the 3rd sentence?
The third sentence is the main focus of the paragraph, yes. The topic sentence is the first one, and all the others explain it, but the main idea of the paragraph is in the third sentence.
can you give me an idea of how you could write the focus sentence so it includes the topic +mainpoint?
I'd find a way to put those first three sentences together and get rid of the wordiness (unnecessarily repeated information). Here's one possibility:
One of Maine's new laws requires employers to hire one physically challenged worker for every 25 employees. This law affects all businesses that have more
than 25 employees.
The New England Journal of Medicine released a study today. The study says people who
abruptly quit drinking coffee may suffer effects of caffeine withdrawal. Some of the symptoms
include headaches, depression, anxiety and fatigue. The study says that even people who drink
fewer than three cups of coffee a day may be affected.
For this one would you say:
The New England Journal of Medicine released a study today stating people who abruptly quit drinking coffee may suffer effects of caffeine withdrawal.
Good job! Yes!!
last one
c. A professor from another college is scheduled to speak on your campus. The speaker has
written that those who attacked the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, were justified in their
actions because of previous U.S. abuses. Alumni have asked that the speech be canceled.
This is the one that's giving me most trouble.. I have no idea how that would work
Police suspected two men of drug dealing. Police witnessed the men exchanging money and
what appeared to be heroin. But after they arrested the men, police couldn’t find the heroin.
Police called in their drug-sniffing dog. The dog headed directly to one man’s sneakers. Inside
the sneakers was a pound of heroin. The two men were charged with drug trafficking.
would this one be :
Police suspected two men of drug dealing. Police witnessed the men exchanging money and
what appeared to be heroin.
Ask yourself this: What is the most startling part of the paragraph? That needs to be your first sentence.
right so for my last one it would be:
The Police suspected two men of drug dealing, they witnessed the men exchanging money and what appeared to be heroin.
right?
I'd start that last one like this: When a drug-sniffing dog found heroin in a suspect's sneakers, two men were arrested.
A professor from another college is scheduled to speak on your campus. The speaker has
written that those who attacked the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, were justified in their
actions because of previous U.S. abuses. Alumni have asked that the speech be canceled.
and this one?
Alumni has asked that the speech on World Trade Center be canceled.
That's too blah! You generally have only one or two sentences to get readers' attention. What eye-catching info belongs in that first sentence?
The Speaker at your campus who has Written about the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 is scheduled to speak at your campus, however alumni has asked that the speak be canceled..
How about that?
A professor from another college believes that those who attacked the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, were justified in their
actions because of previous U.S. abuses. He is sceduled to speak ..., but alumni have asked that the speech be canceled.
thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it, Writeacher!
Just remember -- begin with the most startling info. You can add all that other stuff later.
YW!
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