Homework Help: English

Posted by Sis on Friday, January 13, 2012 at 10:58am.

Writing sentences and paragraphs. Is the below correct?

Paragraph 1
I am anxious study this field medical billing and coding that is the reason I am applying for this position. It will be a wonderful experience working in a clinic or hospital. The position would be a great opportunely in working with doctors, nurses and physicians for me. The one hospital that I would like to work at is UK. It’s a well know, caring and respected hospital. The experience that I have work for years with a company working with medical and dental claims has inspired me to pursue become a medical billing and coding operator it will be very exciting learning new diagnoses, new medications, new technologies, and new treatment. As for wanting to become a medical biller and coder would be learning more about the cause of heart and cancer as the reason it runs in the family. I have no problem working with people with heart and cancer conditions. With the Medical biller and coder I am learning new every day into medial world.

English - PsyDAG, Friday, January 13, 2012 at 11:58am
Suggestions are in caps. Try to avoid run-on sentences.

I am anxious study this field medical billing and coding (NEW SENTENCE) that is the reason I am applying for this position. It will be a wonderful experience working in a clinic or hospital. The position would be a great opportunely (FOR ME) in working with doctors, nurses and physicians. The one hospital that I would like to work at is UK (SPELL OUT). It’s a well know, caring and respected hospital. The experience that (DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE) I have work(ED) for years with a company working (DELETE PREVIOUS WORD) with medical and dental claims (NEW SENTENCE) has inspired me to pursue become a medical billing and coding operator (NEW SENTENCE) it will be very exciting learning (TO LEARN) new diagnoses, new medications, new technologies, and new treatment(S).

START NEW PARAGRAPH FOR CHANGE IN IDEAS, PLACES, PERSONS OR TIMES.

As for wanting to become a medical biller and coder would be learning more about the cause of heart and cancer as the reason it runs in the family. (DIVIDE PREVIOUS INTO TWO SENTENCES) I have no problem working with people with heart and cancer conditions. With (WORKING AS A? the Medical biller and coder I am learning new every day into medial world.

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