Can you proofread my writing?
Have you ever read the story, ‘Animal Farm,” by George Orwell? It’s a very important book on the traits of freedom and equality. Well, there are so many leaders and followers who characterized those traits in the story.
Napoleon is one of the leaders who had a behavior that ruined freedom and lowered the power of equality in the story. One example would be when he changed the commandments back and forth even though all the animals had followed it already. Another example would be that he began trading with humans when it was agreed that no animal was allowed to do that. The last example would be when he had begun killing other animals when the commandments stated that, “No animal shall kill another animal,” but instead it should have said, “No animal shall kill another animal without cause.”
Boxer’s behavior destroyed freedom and brought equality power down in Animal Farm. Boxer is the strongest of all the animals on the farm and will not give up working for any reason. One of his mottos is, “Napoleon is always right.” The other motto is, “I will always work harder.” He followed these two mottos always to fulfillment.
As you can see, freedom and equality characterized the leader and follower, Napoleon and Boxer. These two leaders and followers fought bravely for their cause and the way in which they achieved their point of view. Orwell created diversity in his characters in the novel, Animal Farm.
writing - Writeacher, Wednesday, December 14, 2011 at 4:06pm
You have posted a very rough draft -- far too many errors are in this to be much of anything else. Even if you think you've proofread it, you need to do so at least one more time before anyone here will deal with it.
Please go over your paper with the following in mind. Thanks to PsyDAG for the following:
... read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)
(You can also either read it aloud to someone else or have someone else read it aloud to you! The latter works really well!)
If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other people are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.
Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.
And here are three really good websites that will help, too.