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English12 (EssayCheck Part 1)

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I know I posted this but, I need suggestions on my essay. I'm going to break this into parts so it doesn't look so long make it easier. Please give me any feedback. I just want to know what you think about it. Don't worry about grammar errors for now.

I need this for marks on my essay.

Part 1: Intro: My intro isn't very strong. I think the intro hasn't narrow down to my thesis yet. Give any Suggestions.

Ernest Hemingway was a great writer who influenced many writers through his stories and novels. His greatest goal was to become the best writer. His fictions were focused on his personal life experience. The stream of events in his life experience can be reflected on his writing. Hemingway once stated that "the writer's job is to tell the truth." He wanted his writing "to get the feeling of actual life across--not just to depict life or criticize it--but to actually make it alive." If he can make his characters true enough they would mean many things. Thanks to his many careers as a writer for newspapers and magazines he was able to find the truth in his writing. During his quest for truth he had many leading writers helped him enhance his ability as a writer. Ernest Hemingway gained experience writing through newspaper journalism and furthered his literary education through his many literary influences.

please and thank you

  • English12 (EssayCheck Part 1) - ,

    You are trying to write an introduction for a paper that isn't planned or written yet?? That's backwards. Follow the writing process:

    http://www.ipl.org/div/teen/aplus/
    At this site, you'll find all kinds of help for the whole research/writing process. The Step by Step link will take you through the writing process.

    http://wwwold.ccc.commnet.edu/mla/
    and
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/
    These two sites will also help you with the entire researching and writing process.

    http://nutsandbolts.washcoll.edu/
    This site also contains the entire process; use the left column as the table of contents.

    Be sure to add these sites to you favorites so you can get to them again and again when you need to.

    Once you have an outline written, please post it -- along with your draft thesis statement.

  • English12 (EssayCheck Part 1) - ,

    thesis: Ernest Hemingway gained experience writing through newspaper journalism and furthered his literary education through his many literary influences.

    It's planned out but I don't know how I should narrow of what I got right now down to my thesis.

  • English12 (EssayCheck Part 1) - ,

    That's not a thesis statement. It's a statement that everyone knows.

    Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

    http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
    Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.

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