posted by Help! on .
need help with my Juggling topic.I got 6/20 and I want to get the full 20 points! Thanks!Such as thesis, Introduction.
Thesis: The purpose of my speech is to inform my audience about my experience with juggling; more specifically how I became involved with juggling.
I have to break down my main points but I don't know other two to add as juggling experience. I have to have I, II & III...so far I have one which is "How I became involved with juggling."
Introduction: Have you ever indugled yourself in a hobby that captured your imagination, interests and kept you occupied? Well, I did. Juggling has been my passion, it provides me unique way to learn escape. Ever since, I was a little girl and lived in my native country; I loved juggling and juggled with different objects.
In there Introduction, I have to accomplish 3 purpose which are Motivation, Forecast and Orientation. Please, tell me how to include this in the intorduction..thanks!
English - Writeacher, Friday, December 2, 2011 at 1:23pm
How did your teacher score the 6/20? I can help you better if I know what he/she is looking for.
For example, I don't think you have written a true thesis statement, but without knowing what your teacher wants, I can't be sure.
English - Saahre, Friday, December 2, 2011 at 5:48pm
Ok, thanks! First she said that I did not have good thesis statement. For instance, I have to have 3 main points which i'll be giving speech about in my thesis. In the thesis statement so far I only have one which is "how I became involved with juggling."
Thesis: The purpose of my speech is to inform my audience about my experience with juggling; more specifically how I became involved with juggling. This is how she wants to be written except she wants me to include othe two experiences i had with juggling.
I. I'll be talking about "How I became invloved with juggling.
II & III. I don't kow what to talk about and she wants to know what will i'll for those two which I need help with. I, II & III had to be stated in the thesis but I only have I so far.
What are some of the experince with juggling I should talk about besides how became involved with juggling?
Also, She said, I got the conclusion right but I don't have the 3 purpose which are Motivation, Forecast and Orientation. Please, tell me how to include this in the intorduction..thanks! What are these please. So much questions but I really need help, thanks!
Please post under the same name every time. I don't recognize "help" as someone's first name.
Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
You wrote: The purpose of my speech is to inform my audience about my experience with juggling; more specifically how I became involved with juggling.
Since I have no idea what you did or how you felt about juggling, I cannot add to this. Only you can do this. Ask yourself these questions: Who taught me? When? (how old was I?) How hard was it to learn? Where did I perform? What did I want to accomplish? Why did I want to learn this skill?
Be sure you read through the last linked webpage I gave you above -- especially the 5th example on that page. That corrected thesis statement has three elements in it which will be the three main points of the essay following. You need to set yours up like that, too.