Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, November 24, 2011 at 11:12am.
Let's take these sentences apart:
The story of The Turtle and the Rabbit Run a Race <~~Put the title in quotation marks and delete the words The story of
teaches that even if you get what you want, and win you will always get what you deserve. <~~convoluted and misplaced comma; how can you say this more simply -- AND put the comma(s) in the right places?
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm
The turtle won the race without working hard. <~~OK
If a person doesn’t work hard he/she will definitely get what they deserve. <~~pronoun/antecedent error; unclear response: does "work hard" equate good results? or bad results? or what?
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm
It is like seeing the results of building a house without working hard on it, and building it right. <~~Misplaced comma -- and unclear -- do you mean that the house will be well built? or badly built? or unfinished? or what? Don't leave things like this to your readers to conclude. They are not mindreaders.
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