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Business English

posted by on .

This email must me turned into a Routine Inquiry.
Hello,
I'm currently having a retail company that I import biological products, called 'Healthy life'.
I saw your company advertisment on october 2011 in Dwell magazine and decided to communicate with you. I'm interesting to have a cooperation with Kashi by importing some of your products. i have some quenstions about your company. if we finally make a deal is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the new year?
I have three stores in england and I expect to distribute your products there. is your company arrage some sort of discount for large orders?
How much percent of fat or sugar your snacks are containing?
Thank you
Your Faithfully
Lisa Jones
CEO of Healthy Life, Co


of course I will add everything that an email contains (To, Subject)

This is mine I just did it as I mention is a Routine Inquiry.

Dear Kashi,
Will you please answer the following quenstions about your company products advertised on October 2011 Dwell magazine? we are interesting in ordering some of your products like snacks.
1. If we finally make a deal is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the new year?
2.What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
3.What vitamines the snack are containing?
4.Are the packages of bars ecological?
5. Are you planning new product line?

Sincerely,
Lisa Jones, CEO
Healthy Life, Co
Phone:
Fax:

  • Business English - ,

    First of all, go through and correct the spelling errors and word choice errors. (Word choice is making sure you use the correct verb form for the sentence or the correct word, not another word that doesn't quite mean the same thing.)

    Do you have an English spell-checker in your word-processing program?

    Here are just two problem words that need correcting:
    quenstions
    interesting

  • Business English - ,

    This email must me turned into a Routine Inquiry.

    Hello,

    I'm currently having a retail company that I import biological products, called 'Healthy life'.

    I saw your company advertisement on October 2011 in Dwell magazine and I decided to communicate with you. I'm interesting to have cooperation with Kashi by importing some of your products. I have some questions about your company.

    If we finally make a deal is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    I have three stores in England and I expect to distribute your products there. Is your company arranging some sort of discount for large orders?
    How much percent of fat or sugar your snacks are containing?

    Thank you
    Your Faithfully
    Lisa Jones
    CEO of Healthy Life, Co


    of course I will add everything that an email contains (To, Subject)

    Routine Inquiry.

    Dear Kashi,

    Will you please answer the following questions about your company products advertised on October 2011 Dwell magazine? We are interest in ordering some of your products like snacks.

    1. If we finally make a deal is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    2. What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
    3. What vitamins the snacks are containing?
    4. Are the packages of bars ecological?
    5. Are you planning new product line?

    Sincerely,
    Lisa Jones, CEO
    Healthy Life, Co
    Phone:
    Fax:

  • Business English - ,

    is my corrections not enough? I have to make more?

    We have to turn the first e-mail into Routine inquiry

    I made the second e-mail is not right? corrections needed?

  • Business English - ,

    Basically, it's OK, but there are still many errors. Here are some things you need to work on:

    the use of a, an, the
    http://www.learnenglish.de/grammar/articlestext.htm

    the use of in/on
    http://esl.about.com/od/grammarintermediate/a/prepositions_of_place.htm

    the differences between "interesting" and "interest" and "interested"
    http://www.dictionary.com

    the difference between "like" and "such as" in formal writing
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/conjunctions.htm#like

    Try again.

  • Business English - ,

    These wrongs you are referring is about the second email right?

    Because there I need to focused.

    I will try

  • Business English - ,

    Yes, they're all in the last email you posted.

  • Business English - ,

    Will you please answer the following questions about your company products advertised in the October 2011 Dwell magazine? We are interested in ordering some of your snack products .

    1. If we finally make a deal is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    2. What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
    3. What vitamins the snacks are containing?
    4. Are the packages of bars ecological?
    5. Are you planning a new product line?

    Hope my changes help you out

  • Business English - ,

    Dear Kashi,

    Will you please answer the following questions about your company products advertised on October 2011 Dwell magazine? We are interested ordering some of your products such as snacks.

    1. If we finally make a deal, is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    2. What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
    3. What vitamins snacks are containing?
    4. Are the packages of bars ecological?
    5. Are you planning new product line?

    Sincerely,
    Lisa Jones, CEO
    Healthy Life, Co
    Phone:
    Fax:

  • Business English - ,

    Dear Kashi,

    Will you please answer the following questions about your company products advertised on October 2011 Dwell magazine? We are interested in ordering some of your products such as snacks.

    1. If we finally make a deal, is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    2. What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
    3. What vitamins snacks are containing?
    4. Are the packages of bars ecological?
    5. Are you planning new product line?

    Sincerely,
    Lisa Jones, CEO
    Healthy Life, Co
    Phone:
    Fax:

    THANKS Cheryl, but now I confused because I read all these webpages above and I didn't make the right corrections.

    I will wait for writeacher answer, I hope to be positive.

  • Business English - ,

    Dear Kashi,

    Will you please answer the following questions about your company products advertised in October 2011 Dwell magazine? We are interested ordering some of your products such as snacks.

    1.If we finally make a deal, is it possible to start importing your products at the beginning of the New Year?
    2. What is the percentage of sugar in your snack products?
    3. What vitamins snacks are containing?
    4. Are the packages of bars ecological?
    5. Are you planning new product line?

    Sincerely,
    Lisa Jones, CEO
    Healthy Life, Co
    Phone:
    Fax:

    I believe I will give up for today. Here the time is 23.37

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