posted by Finally 14. .
My book flew across the room as another huge wave crashed against the ship. This was the worst vacation of my my life.
My fairy warned me this wasn't the time for a trip around the world, but did I listen? NOOOO, I was convinced that there was no wrong time too see the world. I was wrong and she was right... as usual. I have got to start listening to that girl!
This is not an assignment but I would appreciate your critique.
Is this the start to a story, essay, or are you just writing this for fun?
What is it you want us to give our opinnion on?
Please repost better directions.
Hi, Allyson. It is not written in the best grammar and the sentences are chopped. Try working on it some more.
O.k. by the way this is only the beginning.
And to answer Allysons questions:
yes I'm writing this for fun and I just want your opimion on the story so far. If you would like to give me some different ideas on how the story could go, that would be cool too.
All opinions are greatly appreciated. Please don't worry about being nice, just be honest.
In a few days I probably will have some more posted.
check the spelling of "too" which should be "to"
I like the beginning! Just let your imagination run with it.