posted by Mathew on .
Can someone edit this essay?
High school is a menacing, over-bearing world that hardly gives the average student to even stop and think. With the threat of a possible test or project coming up, combined with constant homework, it's easy to forget you're even still a kid. Everyone needs that one place where they can go get lost and just forget the real world and the stresses that accompany it. For me, I need not go any further than my own mind to get lost.
I tend to become immersed in thought. Those immense, unchartered regions are far more like an ocean than anything. On land, trees can be destroyed and paths can be cut and permanently scar the land. But an Ocean? An ocean is a vast abyss whose complexity and secrets will never fully be known by anyone. There are infinite paths and will always be more to discover and learn, making it prime territory to explore. In that regard my mind is very much like an ocean, and I love to get lost within it. The more I search, the more I discover about myself, and the creative individual I truly am. Getting lost in my mind I can free myself from limitations. There's nothing to frighten or worry me, and the infinite wealth of cognition and insight into myself is all the more enticing. I could explore for hours but reality soon seeps in and I am no longer lost.
The content is fine, but I'm not sure it's a complete essay.
What are your instructions for this?
its a college essay, the topic is "discuss your favorite place to get lost." 250 word limit
Since you're not naming a particular ocean, there should be no capital O.
There are a couple of commas missing, but otherwise, it's fine.