English Sentence correction
posted by Anonymous on .
Please help me revise this sentence. The following sentence has many problems in grammar, sentence structure, and words. Correct the sentence:
BEFORE: Cindy met this cool guy last night who helped her when she dropped her cellphone walking through the mall; She defiantly wants to go out with him.
After: When Cindy dropped her cellphone while waking through the mall, she met a cool guy who helped her. She defiantly wants to get to know him better.
Everything's fine except this word:
(You have a completely different word there.)
Last night at the mall, Cindy dropped her cellphone while walking and this guy helped her. Now, she definitely wants to go out with him.
That's how I'd do it :)