posted by Sade C on .
How would I go about making my thesis statement less vague and more percise?
Developing Healthy Eating habits along with exercise will promote a better quality of life, lower health cost, and longevity for all.
You have stated obvious facts. Your own opinion or "slant" on all this is missing.
What is your OPINION about all this?
Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
Should I go more into detail?
No. You need to add YOUR OPINION.
Did you read and study all the information on both websites I gave you? Be sure to do so. And then start from scratch.