How would I go about making my thesis statement less vague and more percise?
Developing Healthy Eating habits along with exercise will promote a better quality of life, lower health cost, and longevity for all.
You have stated obvious facts. Your own opinion or "slant" on all this is missing.
What is your OPINION about all this?
Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)
http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
Read carefully and follow ALL directions.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements.
Should I go more into detail?
No. You need to add YOUR OPINION.
Did you read and study all the information on both websites I gave you? Be sure to do so. And then start from scratch.
Ok thanks.
To make your thesis statement less vague and more precise, you can follow these steps:
1. Identify the main ideas: Look at your thesis statement and identify the main concepts or ideas you want to convey. In your case, the main ideas are "healthy eating habits," "exercise," "better quality of life," "lower health cost," and "longevity."
2. Remove vague or general words: Eliminate words that are broad or can have different interpretations. For example, in your thesis statement, the phrase "promote a better quality of life" is quite general. Instead, you can specify what aspects of life will improve, such as physical health, mental well-being, or overall happiness.
3. Be specific about the benefits: Specify how healthy eating habits and exercise will lead to the desired outcomes. For instance, instead of saying "lower health cost," you could mention the specific health conditions or diseases that can be prevented, thus reducing healthcare expenses. You can also mention particular benefits related to longevity, such as the prevention of chronic diseases or an increase in lifespan.
4. Consider the scope: Ensure that your thesis statement covers the scope of your research. If your focus is specifically on a certain age group or population, mention it in your statement. This will make your thesis more precise and targeted.
Applying these steps to your original thesis statement, here's a revised and more precise version: "Adopting a balanced diet and engaging in regular exercise not only improve physical health but also enhance mental well-being, leading to a reduction in healthcare expenses and an increased lifespan among middle-aged individuals."
Remember, the process of refining a thesis statement takes time and revisions. It is important to review and refine your statement as you conduct research and gather more specific information on your topic.