posted by Mario Garcia on .
can someone help me turn this into a personal narrative?
The Lost Dog
I didn’t feel like helping my sister wash my dad’s car. After our dog left this morning we were both sad, we didn’t feel like doing anything but to just search for him. “It was your fault, all your fault,” she said crying ”Only if you remembered to close the gate our dog would’ve been here.” “Don’t blame me, it’s your fault for not paying attention to him, but I’ll help you find him,” I said. He can’t go far he should be here, in the city of El Monte.
We made posters of our dog, putting them in many areas. No one called. Eight hours have passed. We biked around the area, listening: No familiar dog barks. We were cold, it was dark, and we were dejected, with hopelessness creeping in with the dark sky.
A week has passed since the dog left. We haven’t heard good or bad news of him. Every day since he left we have been looking in the nearby parks and around the block. One day we saw a dog that looked like our dog from the back but once we saw him from the front it wasn’t him. We were losing our hopes of finding this dumb dog.
We decided to give up searching for the dog since the weather forecast said that it was going to rain all this week. My sister started crying again saying,” We will never find the dog especially in this bad weather.” “ He is probably in a new home “I replied.
The next day I decided to give all his dog food to my neighbor since they have a dog and I don’t. My sister and I were sad since we were thinking if he was in good hands or bad hands. At 11 in the night, it’s been about 12 days since the dog has been missing. I was asleep and my sister was awake. She wakes me up saying that she hears some scratching the door. I get up and we go to the door and right in front of the door was our dog, scrawny and dirty. As soon as he entered the house we fed him and then bathed him. It was like if some had him because he had a rope around his neck. My sister and I were proud to see that our dog was alive even though he was scrawny.
From now on I had the gate closed and always had the dog tied up when I ever I was doing some else. The lesson learned is that I should never leave the gate open whenever the dog is by himself.
some one please help me
Dad's car (capital letter for Dad)
sad; we didn't OR sad and we didn't (run-on sentence)
it wasn't him = (predicate nominative) = it wasn't he (I know it looks and sounds funny because most people don't use it correctly)
we were thinking if he was in good hands = better as" we were wondering if he was in good hands
scratching the door. = scratching at the door
It was like if some had him = It was as though someone had had him...
when I ever I was = whenever I was
doing some else. = doing something else
It's also a good idea to microchip your dog because if he should be picked up by animal control, they always scan for a chip to find the owner.
Since most of this story is told in the past tense, I'd stay there, except for quotes, if possible.
thank you Sra