posted by Henry2 on .
Can you help me check these sentences on Macbeth, please? Thank you.
1) When Macbeth enters, he tells his wife that he has done the deed. But they are both nervous, for they ask each other a series of quick questions about noises they have heard. Every sound frighten them.
2) Then Macbeth asks who was sleeping in the “second chamber”, that is, the bedroom behind Duncan’s. “Donalbein”, Lady Macbeth replied.
3) Macbeth apparently looks at his bloody hands Macbeth then goes on to recall an incident that occurred while he was in Duncan’s chamber.
4) In telling of the incident Macbeth talks of two men who were sleeping in a room. One of the men laughed in his sleep and the other cried out “Murder”! The sounds each made woke the other, but they said their prayers and returned to sleep.
5) During their prayers one said, “God bless us!” and the other responded with “Amen”. The men expressed these wishes as though they had seen Macbeth with his “hangman’s hands”, that is, with his hands full of blood. Macbeth listened with fright.
6) When the first man said, “God bless us!” Macbeth wanted to reply, “Amen”, but he was unable to do so.
1. Change "But" to "However" (It's not a good idea to begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction.)
2. Why are there quotation marks around second chamber? Are you quoting something?
In dialogue, such as where Lady Macbeth's words are reported directly, put that comma after Donalbein's name before the closing quotation marks.
3. This is a run-on. How will you fix it?
4. Change "of" to "about" before "the incident" - comma after "incident" - comma needed in the second sentence, too. Do you see where?
5. Comma needed. And again, why are there quotation marks around hangman's hands? Are you quoting someone?