posted by tina on .
Conflict? That’s the word defines me. Why? I’m always having and issue with someone and it leads to fussing back and forth at each other. In the story, “Interlopers” by Saki and in a conflict I had with my sister we had a lot of similarities and differences.
The similarities of the short story and my story were very similar because they were both types of conflicts. One example would be man vs. man because I was feuding with my sister getting on my nerves and been an aggravator. In the story, Interlopers two men feuded over land. Another example would be man vs. self because in the short story a character named Ulrich Van Gradvitz wanted to break and end problems with a forest thief, game snatcher, Georg Znaeym. Ulrich questioned himself like, “What to do and what to do?” Also, in my story I couldn’t think or control what I wanted to do to my sister. These were the two main similarities between the two stories.
The stories also had many differences between each other. For example, in the short story the men have some issues with the terrible wind and trees, so they dealt with man vs. nature. Also, the men said, “Wolves,” when they saw the pack of wolves, it was a problem that churned in their way. Lastly, in the short story it took place in the woods while my story took place at home in my bedroom. The differences in the story are me and my sister didn’t have a problem with nature while feuding we just went at it with each other. Lastly, I tried getting even with my sister by screaming and hollering losing my temper trying to get on her nerves. That’s all the differences in the stories.
As you can see, these two stories had many similarities and differences. These stories combined and could be written together because they were so similar. What do you think?
can someone proofread my writing? Ms.Sue preferably?
If you want a critique, here it is. It appears you have not proofed this: it is full of gramatical errors, and words that don't fit. But more importantly, your comparision of the short story, and your sibling conflict seems very hookey, and contrived.
To me, you should define the cause of conflict in the story, and compare external versus internal conflict. In your sibling conflict, it is different: You and she are fighting for control of each other. I see great differences there. I am not certain you developed the conflicts enough to compare the similarities and differences.
In short, you need more work, and I am fairly certain you can do better.
Bobpursley is right. Please proofread and follow his instructions. Then repost and I'll read your answer.
Ms. Sue im start all over but I don't know how to start my body similaritie paragraph off.
Start with your topic sentence.