posted by lizzie on .
Here is my outline for my speech. How does it look? I know I need a better conclusion, I am just not sure exactly yet.
• How many of you have turned on the news or opened a newspaper to find that another human being was seriously injured or killed over an aggressive driving incident that turned to road rage?
• Many of these injuries or deaths could have been easily prevented if not for enraged dangerous behavior called road rage. The aggressive driving tendencies caused by road rage have majorly increased in the last several years on our roadways.
• As you can see proving that aggressive driving is a growing epidemic across our country is easy, but convincing drivers that there are better ways to handle road rage is a different story.
• Aggressive driving or road rage is defined as angry behavior by a driver of a motor vehicle. Such behavior might include rude gestures, verbal insult, deliberately driving in an unsafe or threatening manner, or making threats. (Wikipedia)
• There are several types of road rage:
Verbal Road Rage-behaviors such as yelling, swearing, gesturing, honking, and insulting.
Quiet Road Rage-complaining, rushing, competing, and resisting.
Epic Road Rage- cutting off, blocking, chasing, fighting, and shooting.
• Today so many drivers are multitasking by either talking on a cell phone, reading, texting, eating, putting on makeup, and a lot of other things while trying to operate their vehicle. This is causing other motorist to become very angry because they do not have their full attention on the road.
• Many of us have done some form of aggressive driving while on the road but we never even realized that the acts we were committing were a form of road rage.
2. Statistics of Aggressive Driving and Road Rage
• “AAA uncovered 10,037 crashes caused by violent aggressive driving between January 1, 1990 and August 31, 1996. At least 218 men, women and children were killed as a result
of these incidents and another 12,610 were injured. The problem is national in scope, not
just a phenomenon of congested urban areas.”(The Mizell Report)
• “A recent study conducted by the AAA Foundation found that nearly 90% of us have experienced an aggressive driving incident in the past twelve months.” (The Subcommittee on Surface Transportation)
• Although the majority of the aggressive drivers are between the ages of 18 and 26, there is no one profile of the so-called “aggressive driver”, there are hundreds of cases ranging from 26-50 years old. Mizell & Company all reports about 90 cases from January of 1990 to September 1, 1996 of 51 to 75 year old with aggressive driving.
• Whether you were a victim of aggressive driving or the aggressor, road rage does not have to continue to be a growing epidemic.
3. Encountering Road Rage in a Positive Way
• The best way to break this continuing epidemic is to learn how to protect yourself from such dangerous behaviors. The key is staying focused on your own driving and ignoring the other driver’s antics.
• There are several ways to help in preventing some of these incidents:
Don’t block the passing lane-Move over
Don’t tailgate-Maintaining a safe distance from the vehicle in front of you can help prevent some of the altercations that have occurred.
Use your turning signal- This allows other drivers to know what your intentions are.
Don’t make rude gestures- The obscene gestures have caused some of the most severe road rage incidents. If you don’t use them it lessens the possibility of anything occurring
Don’t blow your horn in anger-It can set off an already stressed out driver
• Remember having a positive attitude while driving can help change this road rage growing epidemic across our country.
You have a sound and interesting speech.
I would say your conclusion just needs to be an extension of your key statement in your introduction. You can make an encapsulated form of key points of your speech. Then punching in a thought provoking question at the end would be good.
I have taken several college writing courses, but am not a professor. I am waiting to see what the professors tell you. Good job.
Good advice from Aria. She's right.
Here are some really good ideas for writing conclusions:
Here is it is. How does the rest of it look?
• Remember having a positive attitude while driving can help change this road rage growing epidemic across our country. The innocent lives being lost can be prevented if you just respect the rules of the road, and if you are polite and courteous it can help to diffuse escalating road rage.
• If we don’t take action now, this epidemic will become a disease eventually too large for any cure. These few tips I gave above can help to begin changing the habits that some of us formed from the moment we began driving.
Please indicate what your thesis statement is, and remember that a thesis statement is ONE SENTENCE.
If you use this wording in your paper, there are parts that need clarification or explanation. I've underlined those parts.
Today so many drivers are multitasking by either talking on a cell phone, reading, texting, eating, putting on makeup, and a lot of other things while trying to operate their vehicle. This is causing other motorist to become very angry because they do not have their full attention on the road.
Rephrase parts so you get rid of all instances of first and second person pronouns and any of their forms: I, me, my, mine, we, us, our, ours, you...
The word "behavior" is one of those words that does not have a plural form.
Awkward phrasing: this road rage growing epidemic <~~How can you smooth this out?
The conclusion is OK, but not compelling. Don't worry about it now, but follow the writing process: 1) Write the body paragraphs first and get them revised and perfected; 2) wait to write the intro AFTER the body of the paper is done; 3) THEN write the conclusion.
The reason for writing in that sequence is so that you have time for ideas to come to you as you write the internal paragraphs -- ideas which will make your intro and concl far better.