please help me correct my essay. the topic of the essay is:"Why overcrowding of school are causing teacher's to lose their jobs overcrowding? and how teacher layoffs are the result of overcrowding." below is a copy of the essay i wrote...
One main concern both parents and teachers have is schools being overcrowded. Parents and public officials are warning that schools in some city neighborhood are overcrowded because a jump in residential development is not being matched with an increase in new educational facilities. Many programs, such as music, art and gym are canceled to make room for regular classroom. Our kids are the ones suffering the most from it because classes such as art and music are very important to a child’s development. In some states, academic classes are being held in the gym. Overcrowding has become so bad that lunch period takes place as early as 10 am.
The department of education says it plans to build more schools but that won’t be until another five years. A lot of teaching jobs are being eliminated; teachers are being laid off because of budget cuts. Everyone knows massive state budget cuts are on the way but how will they affect our local schools and student? It is not unusual for many organizations to do more with less. The government would rather build new schools, take on budget they cannot afford instead of hiring new teachers; but what they fail to realize is the fact that building don’t teach kids, people do. Many teachers are being laid-off because the government cannot afford to pay teachers therefore they overburden one poor soul to do the job that should’ve been done by two or three teachers. This problem can easily be solved if our government would stop giving money overseas; use it here where it’s needed. Illegal immigrant is also a big issue when it comes to school being overcrowded. It has been said over and over again that “children are the future” therefore it is very important they get the education necessary in order to succeed in life.
I'm not convinced and reject your opinions for the following reasons:
1. You've cited no facts or instances to support your thesis.
2. You haven't explained why music and art teachers can't teach their subjects in the regular classrooms.
3. The "government" doesn't build new schools; they are funded by bond issues.
4. Why didn't you explore having two teachers in an overcrowded classroom?
5. Local school districts fund schools; they do not send money overseas.
One main concern for both parents and teachers is overcrowding in schools. This issue arises when a significant increase in residential development is not matched with an increase in new educational facilities. This leads to schools in some city neighborhoods becoming overcrowded, causing various negative consequences. In this essay, we will discuss how overcrowding of schools causes teacher layoffs and why it is a significant problem.
Firstly, due to overcrowding, many programs such as music, art, and gym are canceled to make room for regular classrooms. This means that students are deprived of important subjects that contribute to their overall development. For example, art and music classes play a crucial role in fostering creativity and self-expression in children. By canceling such programs, the quality of education is compromised, ultimately affecting the students' learning experience.
Moreover, overcrowding can reach such an extreme level that academic classes are even held in gymnasiums. This not only disrupts the physical activities that should take place during physical education classes but also diminishes the overall learning environment. Large class sizes can make it difficult for teachers to provide individual attention and support to each student, hindering their academic progress.
The Department of Education acknowledges the issue and claims to have plans to build more schools. However, these plans are often delayed, and it can take several years before new schools are constructed. Meanwhile, as a result of budget cuts, many teaching jobs are being eliminated, leading to teacher layoffs. The government often prioritizes investing in infrastructure rather than hiring new teachers. However, it is important to recognize that buildings do not teach students; it is the teachers who play a critical role in providing education. Overburdening one teacher with a workload that should be shared by two or three teachers compromises the quality of education and puts excessive pressure on the remaining staff members.
Another contributing factor to overcrowding is the issue of illegal immigration. With an increasing number of undocumented immigrants, the demand for limited educational resources becomes even more strained. This further exacerbates the overcrowding problem, as schools have to accommodate a greater number of students with limited resources.
To resolve this issue, it is crucial for the government to prioritize investing in education and ensure that sufficient funds are allocated to hiring and retaining qualified educators. Additionally, addressing the underlying causes of overcrowding, such as the need for more educational facilities and addressing the issue of illegal immigration, would also contribute to alleviating this problem.
In conclusion, overcrowding in schools poses a significant challenge for both teachers and students. It leads to the cancellation of important programs, such as art and music, and compromises the overall learning environment. Budget cuts often result in teacher layoffs, overburdening the remaining staff members. Addressing infrastructure needs and tackling the issue of illegal immigration are crucial steps towards resolving this problem and ensuring that our children receive the quality education they deserve.