Posted by lizzie on Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 9:37am.
Broad Subject-Phonebook Character
Limited Topic for Thesis Statement- Oliver Tolivr
Main Idea- Wealthy Buisness Man
Three Step Format
#2 Appearance-Sloppily dressed
#3 Surroundings-State of the art mansion
#4 Actions-Penny pinching ways
The sloppily dressed, wealthy buisnessman, Oliver Toliver had the state of the art mansion,but because of his penny piching ways you would never have known it.
What is wrong with penny pinching ways?
English - Writeacher, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 9:53am
All Sra was telling you was to put a hyphen between the two words ~~> penny-pinching
You also need hyphens for this phrase if you want to use it as an adjective ~~> state-of-the-art
You can read about compound words here:
Also, you need a comma after "Toliver" in your thesis statement and a space after the comma after "mansion" -- Also, can you rephrase the thesis so that the word "you" doesn't show up?
English - lizzie, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 11:02am
Can I put? because of his penny-pinching ways no one would ever know it.
I know I need to change the you to 3rd person. Will this work?
English - Writeacher, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 11:14am
Yes, "no one" would work. So would "no one else" or "others."
You'll also need a comma after "ways" in that sentence.
English - Writeacher, Tuesday, July 26, 2011 at 11:42am
Yes, that works fine ... just remember to get that comma in there after "ways" --
... because of his penny-pinching ways, no one would ever know it.
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