February 20, 2017

Homework Help: Comm155

Posted by Mama on Saturday, July 16, 2011 at 4:09pm.

Need help changing my passive voice words in my academic paragraph...

In comparing paragraphs one and two, the flow and comprehension of paragraph two was much better. In paragraph one the author seemed to just be telling the facts instead of explaining them. The paragraph contained many short and choppy sentences that did not flow well together. Paragraph two used complete sentences that outlined a problem, described the problem and what is done to correct the problem. Paragraph one tells a problem without outlining the whole idea. The answer is given to the problem but a detailed description to accomplish. Paragraph one seemed to be many random ideas thrown together, they were based on the same topic but were not tied together well. Paragraph two seemed to tell a story of a problem and gave a clear solution. In general paragraph two was written using sentences that came together well on one topic and used a variety of different sentence structure. Paragraph one stuck to one topic but used all short sentences that told a problem instead of going into detail and describing it. Paragraph two was written much better and with better fluidity than paragraph one.

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