Posted by failgrammar on Monday, July 11, 2011 at 2:01pm.
I'm on college. this is for English 101.
She just distribute our papers and talk to her if anyone has a problem with grade but there are no remarks on paper and i need to catch up on my next class.
i revised it now with the mistakes that you point out.
about the article. there is no title and author im serious. and she told us that it is ok to use "according to the article"
According to the article, “women have a higher quality when it comes to relationships than men”. In a relationship, men tend to be quiet and less emotional, while women are good listeners and vocal on what they want to say. For many reasons, women are better at handling relationships than men.
First of all, the article says that “women have a deeper relationship than men”. Women are vocal when sharing their problems, and they can talk about everything when they are with their friends. As a result, they develop deeper relationships with each other. While men base their friendship on activities, they can talk about basketball or cars the whole day, but their conversation has limits. Men can’t talk about their problems to each other because that’s the nature of men. According to the article, “men routinely list their spouses as their best friends”. Men rely on women to fulfill their emotional needs.
Also, when it comes to friendship relationships women are more listeners than men. Men are rational; they don’t have time to listen to other people’s problems because they only want to listen to something that will make them feel better. While girls are open minded, they listen to every detail that the other person is saying whether it is a problem or not, and they always give feedbacks.
Finally, women are reliable. According to the article, “men feel their greater support from women”, women are natural cheerers, and they know how they can support a friend. A mother is a perfect example of how reliable a woman can be, she bases her decisions emotionally and always thinks about her family before herself. Women are reliable in that they can help their friends in a heart beat.
To sum up my discussion, women have a higher quality than men when it comes to handling friendships. Both men and women feel closer to females who give support. No one in this world can live without a friend on his or her side whether it is a man or a woman. Friends are important to everyone’s life and they can learn from each other. Everyone needs a friend to be able to enjoy life.
- calling miss sue and sarah - SraJMcGin, Monday, July 11, 2011 at 2:54pm
I still don't like this one: "women are more listeners than men." and prefer: "women are better listeners than men." OR "women are much better listeners than men."
not "feedbacks" but "feedback" (singular)
Here's a run-on sentence: "how reliable a woman can be, she bases her decisions " so either a period after "can be. She" or "can be; she bases..."
I still find the following awkward, although I did not mention it before: "women have a higher quality than men" --- perhaps "women are far better than men..."
BTW Sra is not Sara(h) but Señora!
Sra (*aka Mme)
- calling miss sue and sarah - failgrammar, Monday, July 11, 2011 at 2:58pm
fixed. thank you very much. big help Sencra
- English - Writeacher, Monday, July 11, 2011 at 3:02pm
According to the article, “women have a higher quality when it comes to relationships than men”.<~~That's a fragment, not a whole sentence; and where are the proper capital letters in that title? Also, the ending quotation marks go AFTER the period (once you make this into a whole sentence).
In a relationship, men tend to be quiet and less emotional, while women are good listeners and vocal on<~~choose a better preposition what they want to say. For many reasons, women are better at handling relationships than men. <~~ALL women? Are you absolutely sure? You know this about every single woman on the planet?? This (and just about everything in the rest of your paper) is an example of terribly sweeping generalization: http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/fallacies.html#5
First of all, the article says that “women have a deeper relationship than men”. <~~placement of quotation marks
According to the article, “men routinely list their spouses as their best friends”. <~~placement of quotation marks
I'd give this paper a D. I know you're referring to an article (whose author you don't know), but the generalizations alone make it something I wouldn't take seriously.
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