Posted by Person on Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 8:40pm.
I need help determining the meter in my poem.
The Ocean says, "Roar" to wake me up,
And I smile as I grab my coffee cup,
Because this is the day the Lord has made!
I refuse to quiver and be afraid.
The sunburst peeks through my window wide,
And stay that way till close noon tide.
The coffee seeps into my thinking skull,
"Today is not boring! Today is not dull!'
There are many things to do today
And I'll be successful because I pray.
Always Always, be on your knees,
Jesus will give you all with a "Please."
All you desires, all of your needs,
Come from above with heavenly speeds.
He loves you! He loves you! I
Tell you this is true.
He loves you! He loves you! And
There is nothing you can do!
So I realize some of this my seem random but I was desperate and had to come up with something.
If you can help, please let me know.
- poetry - Writeacher, Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 9:02pm
For the most part, it seems like iambic tetrameter (see the first link I gave you in the other post), but it's irregular enough that it's hard to tell.
- poetry - Person, Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 9:45pm
I feel like even on the first line I leave an unstressed syllable. I know it needs work but what do you think...??It's supposed to be all the same I believe.
- poetry - Writeacher, Thursday, June 30, 2011 at 10:04pm
If all the lines are supposed to be the same, then you'll need to do some editing.
Here are the first 4 lines, with the stressed syllables in CAPS and a slash mark (/) between the feet:
The O / cean SAYS / "ROAR" to / WAKE me up,
And I SMILE / as I GRAB / my COF / fee CUP,
Because THIS / is the DAY / the LORD / has MADE!
I re FUSE / to QUI / ver and BE / a FRAID.
line 1 = iamb, iamb, trochee, trochee
line 2 = anapest, anapest, iamb, iamb
line 3 = anapest, anapest, iamb, iamb
line 4 = anapest, iamb, anapest, iamb
So ... I think what you need to do is pick a pattern you want to follow, and then change the words so they fit.
Use http://www.thesaurus.com to find synonyms.
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