Could you review this outline for a persuasive essay? Was it done correctly?
Outline for negative impact of credit card companies marketing to students on campus
Com 156
My introduction to the topic and my thesis statement.
Introductory Paragraph:
Even though students having credit cards can teach financial responsibility, credit card companies should not be allowed to market to students on campus. Most students are not mature enough to make long term financial decisions and there is a strong link between long term financial hardships and early debt. A student’s time is consumed with doing well in school, leaving little time available for generating enough income to manage the debt load that can be created by over-use of credit cards.
Body of Paragraph 1
To credit card companies a college student is equivalent to a walking dollar sign, targeting them for the ease in which one will accept the card offered without fully understanding the possible consequences of doing so.
Present my first point and support for this. Provide statics and factual evidence of this.
Body of Paragraph 2
College is a time for expanding knowledge and learning many lessons of life, but most students are still not able to handle the responsibilities that come with the debt that can be incurred with credit cards.
Show support for students not being mature enough to make long term financial decisions, find statics supporting this fact.
Body of Paragraph 3
The most important reason credit card companies should not be allowed to market to students on campus is the link between early debt and long term financial hardship.
Present my strongest point; provide support and examples for this point. Refute the opposing views.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although credit cards can aid in teaching a student financial responsibility, credit card companies should not be allowed to market to students on campus for two main reasons. First, students are not mature enough to make long term financial decisions because they are more concerned with immediate wants instead of long term needs. But most importantly, there is a strong link between long term financial hardships and the early development of debt.
Summarize my main opinion and supporting points.
Conclude with a statement that shows why the reader should not only care about this
topic but convince my reader my position is the correct one.
This is not an outline. What instructions were you given for writing an outline in preparation for writing the paper?
What they said were to complete an outline. The outline will relate the to a topic I chose and is to be used to complete a final paper. My school program provides a thesis and outline generator and this is what I based my outline on. I didn't think it looked right either, but honestly don't know what else to do. Any feedback you could provide would be most helpful.
Honestly there are no real instructions, that is what has me so lost. The outline generator provides an example after I fill in some blanks and this was basically what it looked like (with revisions done of course).
I always thought an outline simply laid out points to be made later, kind of a road map if you will to what you will create later.
Overall, your outline for the persuasive essay on the negative impact of credit card companies marketing to students on campus seems well-structured. However, there are a few areas where you could further improve the outline to enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your essay.
First, in the introductory paragraph, it would be beneficial to provide some context or background information on the issue before presenting your thesis statement. This will help orient the reader and make them more receptive to your argument.
Additionally, in the body paragraphs, it is good that you plan to provide evidence and statistics to support your points. However, it would be even stronger if you explicitly mention the sources of these statistics or provide examples to make your argument more compelling and grounded in reality.
In the conclusion, make sure to provide a brief recap of your main points and restate your thesis statement in a way that reinforces your position. You can also consider adding a call to action or a final thought that leaves a lasting impact on the reader.
Here is a revised version of your outline with some improvements:
I. Introduction
- Provide background information on credit card marketing to students on campus.
- Present the negative consequences you will be discussing.
- State your thesis statement clearly.
II. Body Paragraph 1
- Explain how credit card companies target students for their easy acceptance.
- Support this point with statistics or examples.
- Discuss the potential consequences of this targeting.
III. Body Paragraph 2
- Argue that most students are not mature enough to handle credit card responsibilities.
- Provide evidence or statistics demonstrating students' lack of financial decision-making skills.
- Discuss the implications of this immaturity on their long-term financial well-being.
IV. Body Paragraph 3
- Emphasize the link between early debt and long-term financial hardship.
- Present examples or case studies that illustrate this connection.
- Address potential counterarguments and refute them.
V. Conclusion
- Summarize your main points and their significance.
- Restate your thesis statement with conviction.
- Leave the reader with a final thought or call to action that reinforces your position and encourages them to take action.
Remember, this outline is just a guide, and you can modify it as per your preference and the specific requirements of your essay.