posted by Debbie on .
I need someone to read over this and tell me if it sounds ok. It is supose to be a persuasive essay
Why Americans should not count on Social Security for retirement.
Even though Social Security may always have enough funds to support itself, Americans need another form of retirement funding in addition to social security. In the last 10 years there have been many discussions on the Social Security administration. The Social Security Administration is the largest program in the United States of income distribution. Many Americans think that they will not see any return on the money that they have worked hard to put into the Social Security Administration all of their working lives.
Social Security provides benefits too approximately 43 million Americans every year. Benefits provided to retired workers and their spouses and dependents of those who pass away at an early age. It also provides benefits to people who become disabled before retirement age and also their dependents. Due to the large number of aging Baby Boomers that will be collecting Social Security in the next several years, Americans 65 and older is the largest population that has collected Social Security since its inception in 1935. The population of Americans age 65 and older will grow to 112% in the years between 1995- 2040. The population of Americans of the age 20-64 will only grow to 24%. The population of Americans under the age of 20 will be only 5%. Americans think that Social Security will be a simple retirement plan. After all, Americans pay Social Security by having it taken out of payroll deductions, and should expect that they will receive that money and more after they retire.
Social Security can be a very complex and confusing program. Social Security was designed to gather money from the younger generation to support the older generation that could retire. At this time the large number of the World War II Baby Boomers generation that is able to retire, there are many worries about how it will affect their Social Security. There are three thoughts on how the United States can correct the Social Security Administration, do nothing and let Social Security to run its course, Social Security can be revised, or the system can go privatized.
In the past, the two parties, the democrats and republicans have looked at this in two different views. The democrats have not agreed to change the program that Roosevelt’s New Deal created in 1935. The Republicans think Social Security is contrary to capitalism. As time has passed, Republicans have learned that Social Security is number one on Americans minds and has made it untouchable.
According to Congressman Richard Gephardt, the social security was not meant to be the sole source of retirement income but rather as a foundation for retirement to give all working Americans a safety cushion. The biggest problem with Social Security at this moment is the number people that are going to retire and no longer be a part of the workforce paying into Social Security. With these numbers happening makes the age difference a lot more important. Soon, fewer people will be contributing to Social Security to help with the people who will retire. Liz P. Weston’s article published March 22, 2007 “A third of people age 65 or over rely on Social Security for 90% or more of their incomes, the Social Security Administration says. For about one out of five people in that age group, or 22% Social Security checks are the sole source of their income.” That is more than twice the number of people receiving their monthly income from Social Security than those people who receive their monthly income from sources like a pension or a retirement plan. Also according to Liz P. Weston’s article depending on their wage before retirement a low wage earner (approximately $16,739), Social Security will supplement 55.9% of their pay. A medium wage earner (approximately $37,198), Social Security will supplement 41.4% of their pay. A high wage earner (approximately $81,467), Social Security will supplement just 28.9% of their pay. A married couple that both spouses worked is better because you can draw two checks. A spouse may get a Social Security check based on what they paid into Social Security, if they did not work or earned much less they can draw 50% of what their spouse draws. It is not impossible to live on Social Security by itself, and we have seen that it is easier if you are a couple. Social Security was made just to supplement your income as you retired not to live solely on it.
According to the Social Security website given the decline in replacement income provide by Social Security and employer pension plans, the limited extent of other savings, and the pattern of resistance to annuitization or tapping home equity as a source of retirement income, the only alternative to sharply lower living standards for many retirees is to remain in the labor force longer. Working longer has a powerful impact on retirement incomes. Monthly Social Security benefits increase about seven to eight percent each year a worker postpones claiming from 62 to 70. As this adjusted basis will be much the same. Butrica, Smith, and Steuerle (2006) and Munnell, Buessing, and others (2006), using somewhat different approaches, both find that an additional two to four years in the labor force could offset, for the baby boom generation, the decline in the share of earnings replaced by Social Security and employer pension plans. The average retirement age for men had remained essentially unchanged at 63 since the mid-1980s. So working for an additional two to four years means pushing the average retirement age to 66, which was the average retirement age for men in 1960 or to 67, the FRA under Social Security for workers born in 1960 or later.
Paragraph 1 = the first time you use administration, it is lower case. You may intend that, but if not, I thought I'd mention it.
Paragraph 2 = too should be "to"
Benefits provided = this is not a complete sentence but it would be if you added "are" between these 2 words.
Americans 65 and older is the largest population = this stopped me to figure out if the verb should be singular or plural; you could avoid that by beginning with "The largest population is..."
Paragraph 3 = generation that is able to retire, there = felete "that" and add something like "and" after the comma and before "there"
Administration, do nothing = rather than the comma, use a colon: before listing the 3 things.
democrats and republicans = capitalize Democrats twice and Republicans once
and has and that has = reads better
Paragraph 4 = the number people = the number of people
happening makes = happening, it makes...
(I can't guarantee that I'm catching everything as keep getting interrupted, losing my train of thought! If you have time, repost with all the corrections and someone will do a final proofreading?)
OOPS = I just noticed that you are not skipping a line between all the paragraphs, so I've probably lost the true count of paragraphs.
2007 “A ... = a third people = a third of the people (unless this is a direct quote and she left "the" out)
retirement a low = a good place for a comma after retirement. It reads better.
A high wage earner = what follows forces you to add "With" at the beginning or "In the case of..."
couple that both spouses = couple where...
Last paragraph = website + , given, etc.
for men had remained = has remained?
Your ideas are good but where is the "persuasion" for what I should do?
I take exception to the statement that one CAN live on Social Security. With inflation, rising prices, lowering pensions, that is not very realistic, unless, for example, you can grow all your own food, cut down utlities, etc.
If, for example, one spouse has a pension and did NOT pay into Social Security, that person finds the pension OFFSETS anything he/she might get from the spouse's Social Security.
The retirement age WILL be increased because far too many are find that they MUST work after "retirement" in order to "make it." I know of people in their 90's still working, lucky that they physically CAN. Many people I know have also retired from 2 jobs or more. (I am one of those!)
Check all your mechanics (grammar, etc.), check all your facts, and you might like to peruse some of the following sites about a persuasive essay: