Posted by Amie on Sunday, May 29, 2011 at 7:14pm.
No!
A thesis statement should be only 10 to 20 words -- not 450 words!
Study these sites for excellent advice about writing thesis statements.
http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/thesis.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/01/
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