Could you please check this paragraph for me and check if everything is OK?
1) When Jessica arrived in Hollywood, she got the impression of being in an unexciting suburb of Los Angeles.
2) She first went to the Mann's Chinese Theatre, famous for its courtyard, where well-known stars have written their signature and made prints of their hands and feet in cement (I need to express this sentence using synonyms).
3) There she could also see the names of celebrities written on pink stars and take a tour of the Universal Studios.
4) As she wanted to know where Hollywood stars really lived, she took a taxi and went on a day-trip to Beverly Hills.
5) She was impressed by the beautiful mansions of Hollywood stars (or belonging to Hollywood stars) as well as by the luxurious limousines and sports cars parked on the three-lined streets.
6) While she was wondering about (I need a synonym) looking at their homes, she was stopped by a police officer, who warned her not to walk about the streets because there were special tours.
7) She forgot about him and decided to go to Rodeo Drive, where the rich do (did?) their shopping. In the text she says that the most expensive shop in the world is in that drive and is called Bijan. People can shop there only by appointment.
8) At the end she points out that she liked her visit to Los Angeles because, though it didn't last very long, she got to know a lot about Hollywood stars and their glamorous (I need a synonym) lifestyles.
1) OK
2) She first went to the Mann's Chinese Theatre, famous for its courtyard, where well-known stars have left their signatures and prints of their hands and feet in cement
3) There she could also see the names of celebrities written on pink stars, and she could take a tour of Universal Studios.
4) Because she wanted to know where Hollywood stars really lived, she took a taxi and went on a day-trip to Beverly Hills.
5) She was impressed by the beautiful mansions belonging to Hollywood stars, as well as by the luxurious limousines and sports cars parked on the tree-lined streets.
6) While she was wandering around, looking at their homes, she was stopped by a police officer, who warned her not to walk around the streets. She should take a special tour.
7) She forgot about him and decided to go to Rodeo Drive, where the rich do their shopping. In the text, she says that the most expensive shop in the world is on that street and is called Bijan. People can shop there only by appointment.
8) At the end, she points out that she liked her visit to Los Angeles because, even though it didn't last very long, she got to know a lot about Hollywood stars and their celebrity lifestyles.
Compare VERY carefully, to catch everything, including punctuation.