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european history

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i have to write a DBQ on the different views within France of the Vichy government from 1940 to 1944. I wrote the introductory paragraph, with the last sentence as my thesis. Does it look all right?

Germany defeated French troops in May 1940 and drove its government from Paris. Marshal Philippe Petain, who was named prime minister in June, arranged an armistice with Germany, keeping around half of France occupied by German troops. In France alone, there were many different views about whether the Vichy government and its peace with Germany were right for France. In fact, Marshal Philippe himself changed his statements about his intentions several times. Though the Vichy government only lasted for four years after it began, it was very controversial while it lasted. Many people did not know what to believe, and views within France ranged from that the Vichy government was corrupt and wrong, to that peace with Germany was solely to protect the country, to that peace with Germany was a great step for France, and would make the country stronger.

  • european history - ,

    Your thesis statement is too wordy, confusing, and doesn't state your point of view.

    Writeacher posted excellent advise about thesis statements.


    "Your thesis statement must include factual information (which you already have) plus your position/opinion/stance. Without your position on the topic, it isn't a true thesis statement. So think of this sentence as the angle you want to take on the topic and what you intend to prove by the end of your paper. (If your statement is simply factual, then there's nothing to prove!)

    http://blog.eduify.com/index.php/2009/06/21/5-tips-on-how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
    Read carefully and follow ALL directions.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    This is one of the very best places I've seen online to help students write good thesis statements. It shows you sentences that aren't thesis statements and how to turn each one into real thesis statements."

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