Can someone give me some feedback on this compare and contrast essay that I have completed.
Into day’s society, online social networking has provided a variety of advantages and disadvantages. The use of today’s technology results in an alternative to the traditional styles of going about our daily activities, which can be both positively and negative. Having the option to communicate via the internet provides a better way of continuing your education without actually attending a traditional classroom. The digital world and the traditional world are constantly at odds, with both providing their own benefits and disadvantages.
The internet has advanced a great deal over the years, especially for many college students. People are able to apply for assistance to continuing their education online. These days in time a person can earn their degree online from many different schools, which offers the option of online education as an alternative to a traditional classroom education. The option has become extremely popular for students all over the world.
There are many benefits from working towards a degree online. When someone is trying to complete multiple tasks such as; working a job, attending a traditional school and/or taking care of family members it maybe overwhelming. With online education, a person is able to complete assignments via the internet while they continue on with their daily activities. This is far most the best benefit, because a person doesn’t have to commute to school. Students are able to complete their assignments in the comfort of their own home. Most schools allow their students to complete assignments anytime of the day, as long as they meet their deadlines. It’s also more convenient, because getting your education is more flexible.
Many may argue can a traditional education actually be compared to an online education? There are several individuals that may respond yes. Not only can online learning be an encouraging environment, it is also allow every student to have an equal opportunity to participate in the discussions. This is the way that they are heard. As to attending a traditional class, each student may not have the time to get the extra help that he or she may need during class, because everyone is in class at the same time. A traditional class requires that all students are physically in a classroom completing assignments. When attending online education programs, each student sign into their virtual classroom when it is convenient for them.
Although traditional classrooms will never fade away, there has definitely been an increase in the amount of students who prefer to receive their education online. Students are looking more towards online education, because of the convenience and the flexibility. There are two things that makes students successful no matter how they decide to receive their education and they are motivation and self-discipline. Those two things apply to students that attend a traditional or online school. But having the different education options makes the world a better place. Everyone is able to accomplish many of their goals, because of the digital world. Even though the two are constantly at odds with one another, there are both beneficial to students.
Into day's - in todays
Some basic grammar and spelling that can be fixed by reading aloud and removing 'awkward' words/phrases. Even if they look good on the page, if they don't feel right you should remove them. Also using the same method properly place fullstops etc.
Try to increase your 'academic' phrasing. YOu are well on your way but you'r style changes from impassive to passive throughout. See your last two sentances, the first is passive and the second is impassive ie more academic.
Spelling is a big issue. Just because spellcheck doesn't pick it up doesn't mean its right!
Never start sentances with but.
Watch your tense. Don't switch from present to past, again speak aloud.
Otherwise you're doing a good job. I might break them up into paragraphs. So first is the traditional school the second is the online school and the third comparing them. Then your conclusion.
XD
Obviously, you never read or understood what I wrote yesterday.
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Overall, your compare and contrast essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages of online social networking and education compared to traditional methods. The structure of your essay seems clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are a few areas where you can improve.
First, make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. For instance, in the first sentence, there is a typo ("day's" instead of "today's"). Proofreading will help you present a polished and professional essay.
Next, consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points. While you mention the benefits of online education, such as flexibility and the ability to complete assignments from home, it would be stronger if you could provide examples or statistics to back up these claims. This will make your argument more persuasive.
Additionally, try to provide a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. Right now, your essay seems to be more focused on the benefits of online education, but it would be stronger if you also acknowledged some potential drawbacks. This will show that you have considered both sides of the issue.
Finally, consider organizing your essay more cohesively. Each body paragraph should focus on a specific point and provide evidence to support it. This will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
To get more feedback on your essay, you can reach out to your peers, friends, or instructors. They can provide you with their thoughts and suggestions for improvement. Alternatively, you can join online writing communities or forums where you can share your work and receive feedback from a wider audience.
I hope this feedback helps you improve your compare and contrast essay!